With communication breaking down between Russia and Ukraine, Will “Slappy” Smith may have to moderate the next round of peace talks.

The Phillies have already fallen a few games back of the sizzling Mets. It’s April, but they will need to be better, and so will Aaron Nola. Philly’s ace has been a joker, surrendering nine runs over 14 ²/₃ innings in three games while losing two straight.

The Brewers are in Philadelphia and Milwaukee’s Eric Lauer will make his third start after limiting the Orioles’ and Pirates’ offensive offenses to four runs over 10 ¹/₃ innings. Time for Nola and the Phillies to step up. Why? Because we have them for 10 units.

Scoring more than the Chicago Bears can over the course of a month, the Cubs pounded the Pirates 21-0. Everybody hit. Nico Heorner had four of the 23. Kyle Hendricks (giving up a mere two hits over seven strong innings) was good, not that he had to be. Cubs Win! We win! Up +140 sammysosas.