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Welcome! Migrants, unwanted in Texas, have made their way to New Dodge City. A quick primer on how to survive your first week in the Rotten Apple. Outdoor dining is preferred, but if you’re having a late meal, don’t stay for dessert. The dining shed is also used as a late-night love shack. No bail in NYC, so if you’re arrested for shoplifting or a misdemeanor, you will be released faster than you can say “de Blasio.” The Yankees, Mets and Stitches are all in first place, but the last place you want to be is the subway or Times Square. I hear they’re murder at this time of year. Run. Duck. Be safe. You’re welcome!
The Mets did their job beating up the Bravos. The Reds move in, and we hope the letdown proves profitable. Chris Bassitt (2-5 at home) starts for the Amazin’s. Justin Dunn makes his first start as a Red. Play 10 units on the road dog Reds.
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Kut! Kut! Kutter Crawford allowed five runs, Brad Keller had his best start since high school, and the Royals crowned the Dead Sox, 13-5. MJ Melendez homered and had six RBIs. Back-to-back losses. Up +1,991 carltonfisks.









