1) Songs that suck

Midnight “Rocky Horror” screenings have felt stale for, oh, 15 years. So we’re taking our snap-on fangs to the IFC Center’s midnight “Buffy the Vampire Slayer Sing-along” – featuring the series’ hallowed musical episode – on Friday and Saturday.

3) Adult toys

Kidrobot is between stores. During renovations to its SoHo space, the brand is opening the Pirate Store at 281 Lafayette St., where they’ll debut the FatCap, a new nozzle-headed collectible inspired by spraypaint cans.

4) The new Katie

We found Katie Couric’s frozen rictus eerily similar to Jack Nicholson’s Joker. Wearing a lumpy white jacket, the leggy CBS anchor made her cringe-worthy debut in the midst of a Botox binge.

5) Fashionistos

Check out “A Rakish History of Menswear” – an offbeat history of rebellious fashion, from tights and frock coats to Diddy’s suits – at the New York Public Library’s 42nd Street branch.

6) Campus rags

Aerie, American Eagle’s cute new line, gets our vote for softest sweatpants ever. The cheap, dorm-inspired loungewear also features undies and thermal henleys.

7) Animal alerts

We’re not heartless – it’s sad that the Crocodile Hunter died – but please stop warning us about the dangers of poisonous fish. Seriously, they’re not called “stingrays” because they’re warm and cuddly.

8) TomKat Rugrat

We think the infant posing with Tom and Katie in Vanity Fair is adorable – but “Suri Cruise” looks a lot like a tiny Asian girl with a baby toupee. We demand DNA evidence!

9) Big-city brewskis

We applaud the unveiling of New York’s Empire State Brewery Trail – and we’re not talking about the Upper East Side on a Friday night. Turns out our sudsy history dates back to the 1630s, when the Dutch West India Co. established a brewery in the city. At one point, Brooklyn had 40 breweries. Hold a stool for us, Ithaca!

10) Latin lovers

Telenovelas are finally getting love, American-style. MyNetworkTV has adapted “Fashion House” and “Desire,” while ABC is pushing “Ugly Betty.” Sabrosa!