CATS & DOGS [ 1/2]
Disappointing comedy about a secret high-tech war between cats and dogs. Running time: 87 minutes. Rated PG (mild toilet humor). At the Empire, the Battery Park City, the Astoria (Queens), others.
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THE trailers were so well-cut and funny that “Cats & Dogs” feels all the more disappointingly flat.
Except for a fine slapstick chase sequence before the opening credits, every good joke in the movie is to be found in those trailers.
You spend the rest of your time noticing how poorly the animals’ computer-generated mouth movements match the words they’re supposed to be saying, and remembering how much wittier “Babe” was – or “Dr. Dolittle,” for that matter.
As a spoof of old-fashioned espionage films, it falls well below the satirical standard of the worst “Get Smart” episodes. Perhaps the film’s only saving grace is that its heart in the right place: Appropriately, given their species’ long history of loyalty to man, the dogs are the good guys in “Cats & Dogs.”
The idea is that, unbeknownst to human beings, cats and dogs not only speak but have access to all sorts of high technology. And they’ve been engaged in constant, mostly cold war ever since cats briefly controlled the world when the ancient Egyptians were building the pyramids.
Now the balance of pet power is threatened because a human scientist, Professor Brody (Jeff Goldblum), is on the verge of inventing a cure for human allergies to dogs. A megalomaniacal Persian, Mr. Tinkles, is plotting to steal the formula and somehow use it to take over the world.
After Mr. Tinkles arranges the kidnapping of the dog-agent who protects Professor Brody’s family, the dogs arrange for a properly trained substitute.
But a mix-up places an untrained beagle puppy (voiced by Tobey Maguire) with the scientist’s family instead. It’s up to the puppy – named Lou for “loser” – to protect his human owners from the cat conspiracy, including a raid by Asian-accented ninja cats who want to destroy the scientist’s lab.
Among the star voices featured in the movie – including Jon Lovitz as Mr. Tinkles’ hapless lieutenant, Susan Sarandon as a seductive Saluki hound and Charlton Heston as a mastiff – the standout is Alec Baldwin’s shepherd. There’s something in this dog’s expressions that is strangely reminiscent of the actor.
