Duck and cover: At Beck’s unannounced Valentine’s Day show at Maxwell’s, the rosy-cheeked artist channeled the love with a medley of Nelly’s “Hot in Herre,” the Tom Tom Club’s “Genius of Love” and Prince’s “Erotic City.”

Don’t mess with pirates: “Elephant,” the new White Stripes album, is already online – two months before its release date – thanks to Web pirates. The Detroit dynamic duo even tried foiling downloaders by uploading an MP3, “Seven Nation Army,” named for the first single. That only contained 10-second loops. But to no avail. Consequently, the label has pushed up the official unveiling by a week, to March 31.

Roger, Wilco: The total eclipse of Wilco at the Grammys becomes even more of a puzzler after looking at the Village Voice’s “Pazz & Jop” annual poll (www.villagevoice.com). In a survey of 695 music critics, Wilco’s “Yankee Hotel Foxtrot” was named the #1 album of 2002.

Homeward bound: Simon and Garfunkel, getting a Grammys Lifetime Achievement award, may be the not-so-secret surprise guests tonight, performing together for the first time in 10 years. Here’s hoping these two Queens boys, who split up in 1970, break their sounds of silence.