“Wild Card” [ ]
Saturday night at 9
on Lifetime
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“1-800-MISSING” [ 1/2]
Saturday night at 10
on Lifetime
—
IF you have nothing better to do on a Saturday night in the middle of summer than watch TV-has Lifetime got your number.
Tomorrow night, the network will debut two, count ’em two, new shows: “Wild Card,” a twist on the orphans-taken-in-by-a-relative series starring Joely Fisher, and “1-800-MISSING,” a twist on the partners-in-crime cop series.
Good thing that Lifetime is television for women, because these shows – especially “Wild Card” – are strictly for girly girls.
That’s why it came as a surprise to me that I liked “Wild Card.” Because I am, as you know, a 6-foot tall, blond assassin who doesn’t cry at girly girl shows. But you’d have to be a 6-foot, blond assassin without a heart to not at least tear up a little bit.
“1-800-MISSING,” on the other hand, is not as sappy and, well, not as good. I mean, if you’re going to be sappy, go all the way or don’t go at all.
What’s good about these new shows is that they both have strong-willed women in the leads.
In “Wild Card,” Joely Fisher, who narrowly escaped total career ruin by starring in “Baby Bob,” (maybe even worse than “The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer,” and “Inside Schwartz,” combined!), redeems herself here with a refreshingly off-beat role as a new guardian who gets a job as an insurance investigator.
In “1-800-MISSING,” Gloria Reuben stars as an FBI agent who tracks down missing persons, but who is then teamed up against her will with, yes, a psychic, (Caterina Scorsone) who is not only reluctant to be an FBI agent, but a psychic.
Fisher plays the sister of a woman who died in a car accident leaving three kids. She leaves her going-nowhere job as a croupier in Vegas and moves into her sister’s house with the kids.
OK, been there, done that, but Fisher and the kids are so good that once you get past the dopey expository dialog that is the enemy of all TV premiers, (this one is especially dopey), the show takes off.
For one thing, Fisher looks like a woman. She doesn’t look like an actress with thighs the size of toothpicks, and a $300 haircut playing a real woman. She wins your heart with her realness.
Reuben, an alumnus of “ER,” has an easier job of it because she doesn’t have to escape a past with stink bombs like “Baby Bob.” However, she does have to escape the wardrobe designer who must never have met a fed in her life. Have you ever met an FBI agent who owns an entire wardrobe of fantastic black leather clothes? In one scene she’s wearing a black leather skirt, in another a long leather coat, then there’s the black leather jacket, and finally, a black leather blouse. I mean, they look great, but would you pack those outfits if you were holed up in a hotel looking for a missing person?
I’m also happy to see that Scarsone plays a young, smart college grad named Jess Mastriani, an actual Italian-American who isn’t in the mob for once.
Both shows are curl up with a pizza on Saturday night shows – especially if you’re cozy in your p.j.’s. And definitely if you’re a woman.
