Of all the threats facing our great nation – both credible and those reported by cable news networks – Miss Cleo shouldn’t be high on anyone’s list.

And yet, in a chilling development, the late-night TV psychic has become the target of attorneys general nationwide.

New York recently fined her $224,000 for violating its no-call law, which ensures that people who phone the Consumer Protection Agency and ask to be removed from telemarketing lists are put on hold for three hours.

Mysteriously, even after weeks of treatment, several residents contacted by Miss Cleo still can’t get the “Banana Boat Song” out of their heads.

Missouri claims she keeps callers on her 900 line as long as possible by casting spells that render them unable to answer simple questions, like their age or the square root of Finland.

The state is seeking $1.6 million in restitution from the soothsayer, plus 100 hours of community service, during which she must perform exorcisms on overprivileged children.

To date, 12 attorneys general have filed phone-violation charges against Miss Cleo, with a 13th planning to do so as soon as he can get the locusts off his desk.

Many more have questioned her authenticity, citing a passport that shows her real name as “Ted Koppel.”

Clearly, this is a case of persecution by political leaders, who live in fear of anyone who dresses differently from them and can shrink a man’s head to the size of Ping-Pong ball.

Potent though her powers may be, however, Miss Cleo is largely benevolent. Each day she provides millions of Americans with invaluable advice on issues ranging from romance to careers to shopping for monkey skulls.

This is done chiefly through tarot cards, MasterCards and American Express cards.

(A proven method of prognostication, tarot dates back to the Middle Ages, well before psychics had their own TV shows, though they would occasionally turn up on “Ted Mack’s Amateur Hour.”)

She also provides personalized astrological readings, wherein viewers are told in astonishing detail what will happen to them unless they call her each week.

As for authenticity, Miss Cleo, a native of Jamaica, earned a Ph.D. in telepathic studies from Princeton. This without once setting foot in New Jersey.

At a time when America needs spiritual guidance most, suppressing Miss Cleo will inevitably lead to chaos and despair.

If this campaign against her continues, how long before psychics everywhere are seated before a Senate subcommittee – while Joseph Lieberman pressures them to name names on the winner of next year’s Kentucky Derby?

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