Bill Belichick offered no mea culpa for Deflategate, but the Patriots coach did offer a host of excuses and alibis at an ad hoc press conference Saturday. Here are some highlights:

Blames the refs

“When the balls were delivered to the officials’ locker room, the officials were asked to inflate them to 12.5 [pounds per square inch]. What exactly they did I don’t know. But for purpose of our study that’s what we did. We set them at 12.5. That’s at the discretion of the officials. Regardless of what we ask for, the official sets them for what he wants.

“That’s our measurement, we can’t speak specifically to what happened because once the officials have them we don’t touch them until we play with them.”

Blames the gauges

“The accuracy of one gauge to another, there’s variance there.”

Blames the cows they came from

“Clearly, all footballs are different. Each ball has its own unique characteristics, because it’s not a man-made piece of equipment. It’s animal skin, bladder, each one has its individual characteristics.”

Blames God, the weather and the refs in one grand excuse-fest

“We all know air pressure is a function of atmospheric conditions. It’s a function of that. If there’s activity in the ball relative to the rubbing process, I think that explains why we went and gave them to the officials and they put it at, let’s say, 12.5 — if that’s in fact what they did — once the ball reached its equilibrium state that’s why it was closer to 11.5. But we can’t speak to what happened because we have no way of touching the balls. Once the officials get them we don’t touch them until we play in the game.’’