Anybody who has seen Bryan Cox throw a tantrum on the field isn’t likely to forget it; helmets fly, curses flow, ears burn. And on occasion, opponents back down.

But last week, Cox sat in a Hofstra cafeteria after Jet practice, wearing a black T-shirt, a fishing hat, and an affable, serene manner that seems light-years away from that fearsome on-field persona.

The 32-year-old linebacker leaned back in a chair, propped his leg up on a table and chatted about a host of topics, from his infamous temper, his friend Bill Parcells and new coach Al Groh. A kinder, gentler Cox? Maybe, but the answer, like Cox, is complex. Leader or lunatic, team-guy or tempestuous, Cox can’t be summed up in a word.

Cox, the emotional heart and soul of Gang Green’s defense, says much of his aura as a ticking time bomb was well-crafted to give him an psychological edge over more gifted players. He can’t remember how or when it started, only that it worked.

“I used to get real bad. I’d want to be right at the brink of being mental or being committed,” Cox said. “I actually wanted people to be afraid. I wanted a 300-pound lineman to think that this guy might do anything. That was a weapon for me for a long time. Now I just outsmart the big dummies. I wouldn’t have been as good early on if I hadn’t [acted that way].

“I come up short on talent when it comes to putting me up next to guy that’s muscular and fast. That’s not my forte. My forte has always been the mental aspect of the game, having to outsmart somebody or getting them to the point they can’t think because they’re so mad because I’m constantly talking. That’s just been my game as long as I can remember.”

If Cox’s rants were fabricated, he has a future in acting after he retires, because some of them were Oscar-caliber. Like the time the Bears fined him $10,000 for throwing his helmet and drawing three unsportsmanlike conduct penalties in the span of two plays. And the back-to-back, 15-yard third-down penalties vs. Tampa Bay later in ’96. And, of course, his piece de resistance, when he gave the entire crowd the finger at Rich Stadium.

“I didn’t care, don’t care [about people’s opinions]. I never gave much thought to what anybody thought of me,” said Cox, who’d paid over $100,000 in fines before he’d even come to the Jets in ’98. According to Cox, the things that matter are his football, his family and his friends, among whom he counts Parcells.

“That’s my friend. He’s helped me in a lot of ways, with a lot of problems. We don’t talk about football; when we talk, we sit and laugh and tell jokes and talk about personal stuff. People find it hard to believe, but we don’t talk about football.”

Now his friend has been replaced on the sidelines by Groh, even though Cox says, “This is still Bill’s team. Al’s the coach, but they’re still Bill’s players and it’s the same system. That’s why I say it’s Bill’s team.”

But whoever’s team it is, Cox knows he needs to play better than he did last year when he played through torn lower abdomen muscle and had a career-low 45 tackles and no sacks, which is one less than he had in Saturday’s scrimmage.

“I’m trying to get my numbers up. I won’t blame it on injuries; I blame it on bad technique. I let a lot of things slip in my game. Now I feel like I’m on top of my game. I feel as good as I have in awhile.”