Hondo threw a no-blood splitter last night as the Rangers offset his loss with the Reds to leave the deficit holding steady at 1,215 brobergs.

Tonight, he expects Holland to provide a Dutch treat — 10 units on the Rangers over the Pale Hose.

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Joseph Brooks, the accused sex fiend who wrote “You Light Up My Life,” reportedly killed himself by using a plastic bag and helium. Apparently he wanted to hit that high note one more time before bowing out . . . Heard on Fred Wilpon’s answering machine: “Hello, this is CVS calling again to tell you your prescriptions are ready” . . . Siciliano, aka the Bronx Bomber, e-mails to say he is all but certain NBC’s Dateline has no intention of rehiring Maria Shriver as an investigative reporter.

hondo@nypost.com