THE Cardinals will upset the Steelers and shock the world in Super Bowl XLIII, and here’s why:
I – They are the Team of Destiny, and Kurt Warner is God’s Quarterback.
II – Arizona coach Ken Whisenhunt knows Ben Roethlisberger better than Steelers offensive coordinator Bruce Arians knows Warner. Not only that, but Big Ben chafed under Whisenhunt’s heavy-handed style and snubbed his former offensive coordinator when the Steelers played at Arizona last season. It means Whisenhunt will be in Roethlisberger’s head.
III – Oh, and Big Ben was 9-of-21 for 123 yards and two interceptions in his lone Super Bowl appearance against the Seahawks. Warner? Try 52-of-89 for 779 yards with 3 TDs, two INTs . . . and one Super Bowl MVP. Joe Flacco, he’s not.
IV – Ever try covering Larry Fitzgerald?
V – Hines Ward (knee) will not be healthy enough to be a major factor, much less win another Super Bowl MVP.
VI – Disgruntled Anquan Boldin gets an extra week to rest his hamstring and to make nice with offensive coordinator Todd Haley so he can impress potential suitors such as Giants GM Jerry Reese.
VII – They will be the first to tell you that the Las Vegas oddsmakers don’t give them enough respect. “We’re going to hype it up like we’re 20-point underdogs,” DT Bryan Robinson said.
VIII – The revenge factor for Whisenhunt and Russ Grimm, both passed over for Mike Tomlin.
IX – The AFC Championship Game against the Ravens was the Steelers’ Super Bowl. No way they can work up the same level of hate for the Cardinals.
X – Think the Cardinals like hearing they’re the worst team to play in a Super Bowl?
XI – Frisky Edgerrin James can be Ottis Anderson in Super Bowl XXV.
XII – Warner graces the cover of Sports Illustrated, but there are signs that the SI jinx is faltering. Super Bowl XLII MVP Eli Manning was on the pregame cover last year; Michael Phelps was on the cover before the Olympics.
XIII – If Lawrence Taylor can fail to record a sack in two Super Bowls, I am certain James Harrison and LeMarr Woodley can be blocked.
XIV – Everyone forgets that Cardinals punter Ben Graham learned a few tricks from Eric Mangini.
XV – The Cardinals have a (Leonard) Pope.
XVI – Arizona’s John McCain doesn’t think “that one” can win a record sixth Super Bowl.
XVII – The Steelers sent Jerome Bettis out in style in Supe XL. Let’s see them summon up enough emotion to win one for Plaxico.
XVIII – Matt Leinart’s role is to flood Steelers cell phones with this text message: Free lap dances at Mons Venus.
XIX – The Steelers will be beyond overconfident once they watch the tape of Brett Favre’s six-touchdown day against the Cardinals.
XX – Bill Bidwill has never lost a Super Bowl.
XXI – Arizona defensive assistant Matt Raich’s bio: “Previously an offensive assistant under current Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt with the Pittsburgh Steelers the prior three seasons (2004-06). Raich switched to the defensive side of the ball with the Cardinals where he played in college. Raich joined the Steelers coaching staff prior to the 2004 season after spending the previous two years as an intern in the Pittsburgh player personnel department. In his previous position with the Steelers, Raich helped the offense and the entire coaching staff with its game preparation, video analysis and scouting of future opponents.”
XXII – That destiny thing again: Cardinals rookie WR Early Doucet won a national championship with LSU last year.
XXIII – The Steelers are built for the cold. The Cardinals are a warm-weather team. Ever been to Tampa?
XXIV – AFL impresario Sonny Werblin signed Joe Namath away from the old St. Louis Cardinals. The football gods owe them.
XXV – The 18-0 Patriots were gunning for historic perfection last year and the Giants said, “Uh uh, not on our watch.” The Steelers are shooting for Sixburgh. Capiche?
XXVI – Cmdr. Mike Fincke, a Pittsburgh native and the head of the International Space Station, waved the Terrible Towel in space. Us-against-the-world is one thing, us-against-the-universe quite another.
XXVII – If “Why not us?” was not the Cardinals’ rallying cry when they watched Beyonce sing “At Last” at President Barack Obama’s Inauguration Ball, it damn well should be.
XXVIII – The Super Bowl III Jets and Super Bowl XLII Giants are reminders that anything can happen on any given Super Sunday.
XXIX – Adrian Wilson is the Other Safety on the Other Defense coached by the Other Coordinator.
XXX – Win one for Pat Tillman.
My editors are screaming at me to stop. Take the seven points and thank me later.
