SUBJECT: Nets Tear Into League; Scott Tears Into Malone

And here all this time I thought Byron Scott reserved his effeminate evaluations for Nets only. But, lo and behold, he went toe-to-schmoe with Karl Malone Wednesday night while Jersey was OT-ing the Jazz, earning a place-setting at my twisted table forever . . . well, at least, for the moment.

After exchanging some love taps with Malone, Scott shot a verbal arrow (“The whole league knows what he’s about . . . “) right through The Mailman’s auricles and ventricles. To its credit, the NBA ensured the skirmish did not escalate by calling in Jayson Williams to break it up.

*

Subject: J.R. Lives Down To His Initials, Again

Just Released Rider actually didn’t behave all that badly during his brief tenure with the Nuggets. According to a hall monitor, he honestly tried to act like an adult and was pretty professional, for him.

He was almost always on time, occasionally. Performed admirably (28 points, 10 rebounds in one game, demonic defense versus Vince Carter in another) when given ample daylight to express himself. Didn’t roast coach Dan Issel to the media all that graphically for not playing him as often as he’s convinced he merits. And didn’t distance himself from the team . . . just everyone exempting Nick Van Exel.

Then what provoked management to cut the cord last Tuesday? Well, the Nuggets were about six deep at off guard before Rider was deported and Tariq Abdul-Wahad underwent knee surgery; Voshon Lenard was witnessing less daylight and getting paid ($4.2M) four times as much as J.R. If Issel had no plans to play Rider, it made no sense to keep him. Such a pity since the Nuggets could’ve used him and he could’ve used them.

Yeah, but surely, all you cynics and Paul Simon are chanting, there had to be a defining incident or accident, hint or allegation that got Rider expelled?

Not really. Unless you want to nit-pick and count the episode at the Denver hotel where Rider was living. Apparently he and an employee or two had a minor confrontation and J.R., as farfetched as it seems, was evicted for being abusive.

The Nuggets did not hold that conflict against Rider. As best as I can tell, the final straw occurred when he showed up at Monday’s Nets game with Lamar Odom’s name written on his sneakers.

Subject: Whistle While You Work

In Portland’s 97-90 home victory over Denver Friday, the Blazers enjoyed a slight (37-15) advantage at the welfare line. Which is nothing compared to the fourth-quarter disparity; the Nuggets failed to visit the line a single time while their hands-off hosts (called for two fouls in 12 minutes) were given 15 freebies.

It was such a miscarriage of justice, the refs allowed Issel to curse them for a full minute in the waning moments (after Van Exel got no respect on a drive, Denver behind 91-88, with about a minute left) without getting a technical.

“I got more calls from the hotel operator,” said the faithfully departed Rider, whose plans include opening up a chain of Holiday-in-your-face-Inns.

Their Motto: We Put The Con in Concierge

Subject: Tiny Tim Rips Riley After Cashing Chips

Nobody enjoys taking the paddle to Padre Riles as much as yours truly, but when Tim Hardaway went on a Riley Rampage recently (“Guys don’t want to play for him anymore” and other such small talk) I had to upchuckle.

In my good book, gimpy point guards who couldn’t hit 40 percent of their shots in each of the last two seasons should be ashamed to take pot shots at any stationary target. Especially a target responsible for keeping Tiny Tim’s career afloat (while paying him $14 million the previous season) longer than inhumanely deserved.

Clearly, Hardaway has so little left the Mavericks were only required to relinquish a No. 2, 2002-03 draft choice in a sign-and-trade with the Heat. In fact, he’s so overdone (one of several subs Don Nelson is down on) he won’t even be in the league by the time Miami gets compensated.

Upon his return to Miami Friday night, Hardaway reiterated his harangue – Riley is out of touch with today’s players – as the Mavericks extended the Heat’s losing streak to seven. A disconsolate Riley consequently called me for encouragement.

This just in: Former UTEP coach Don Haskins says Hardaway is out of touch with today’s game.