The Pale Hose came through beautifully for Hondo last night in Toronto, performing some ninth-inning magic that lowered the nasty numeral to 1,310 sislers.

Tonight, Mr. Aitch expects Roy Harvey Oswalt to gun down the Metamucils — 10 units on the Phillies.

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Now that new Mets minority owner David “Ich Bin” Einhorn is on board, it looks like Fred Wilpon is only 51 percent of what he once was . . . Sources say that before Schwarzenegger’s sex scandal broke, aides thought he was in failing health because he kept talking about “getting his affairs in order” . . . Newly engaged Kim Kardashian, who is renowned for her well- ounded posterior, now has a big-ass ring to match.

hondo@nypost.com