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NOTHING in sports – absolutely nothing – is immune to the affliction of crass commercialism. What can be sold, will be sold. Doing the right thing is for suckers.

To that end, the most consistent element demonstrated by ESPN since it was purchased by Disney has become its shamelessness. Immersed in executive-ordered and relentless cross-promotion and self-promotion, ESPN hit another new low last week when it slickly exploited Little Leaguers – 11- and 12-year-old boys, for crying out loud – by attaching ESPN/ABC goods to the backs of their televised presence.

During their coverage of the Little League World Series, Disney-owned ABC, ESPN and ESPN2 have always posted profile graphics of kids as they come to bat. These graphic give the usual details: name, height, weight and batting average, plus, in a sweet tribute to the game they play, their favorite major-league baseball player.

But this year’s kiddie profile graphics included another, frequently-seen entry: the kid’s favorite X-Games performer.

The X-Games have nothing to do with baseball or the Little League, but, in a strange coincidence, they just happen to be an ESPN/ABC property. And, in another odd twist, ABC and ESPN just happen to be in the midst of airing the Summer X-Games.

ESPN shamelessly used these Little Leaguers to help peddle ABC/ESPN goods. ESPN took advantage of a bunch of 11- and 12-year-old boys, turned them into billboards. How proud ESPN must be.

Furthermore, it was painfully obvious that no kid, preparing to play in the LLWS, volunteered his favorite X-Games athlete to ESPN. Why would he? The X-Games have zilch to do with baseball. These kids’ answers were prompted by ESPN as a means of commercial exploitation.

Would ESPN have asked this question of kids – and posted their answers – had the X-Games been the property of a competing network? Fat chance.

Additionally, while it stands to rhyme and reason that Little Leaguers would have favorite major-league players, X-Game performers are not only irrelevant, they are, with the exception of skateboarder Tony Hawk, relatively anonymous.

It’s clear that ESPN was eager to use the response of those kids who actually did know an X-Games performer to sell ESPN. ESPN asked a self-serving question designed to create self-fulfilling promos, promos attached to the backs of unsuspecting 11- and 12-year-olds playing baseball on ESPN.

And to think that ESPN used to only exploit Little Leaguers for cheap, insensitive yuks on SportsCenter by showing footage of devastated kids crying.

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MARV Albert is a signature away from completing a remarkable comeback. Albert is expected to agree to a new MSG Network contract that will return him to Knick TV, this time to work with incumbents Mike Breen and Walt Frazier, on those days and nights when he’s not working for NBC or TNT.

Albert, should he agree to terms, will no longer work Knick radio, leaving that to Gus Johnson and the recently-reinstated John Andariese.

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PREDICTION: Around Week 8 of the NFL season, barring injury, Vikings QB Daunte Culpepper will be the talk of the league. And the talk you’ll most hear will be about his throwing arm being the strongest in football. And with the Vikes’ defense down, Culpepper will be doing a lot of throwing.

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WAYNE Root’s latest weekly football picks-for-sale gambling show, this one with the help of John Riggins, Phil McConkey (who should know better), Randy White and Dan Hampton, will be a time- buy on PAX TV, which appears nationally as either a cable or broadcast network.

PAX, it’s worth noting, bills itself as a family entertainment/values network. So, families might want to get together Sundays, perhaps after church, and tune in to PAX to work on their three-team parlays. Hey, if the kids don’t fidget during the sermon, maybe you can reward them with their own two-team teaser.

Meanwhile, every season, several times per season, Root calls to tell me that, good golly, he simply has to get out of this disgusting business. He encourages me to keep hammering at the scam-dicapper business because the industry’s lousy with crooks. Yeah, Wayne. Sure, Wayne. Whatever you say, Wayne.

Meanwhile, Root’s advertising inserts in football publications continue to make outrageous claims of touting success that, if believed, would make Root so wealthy that he not only would move lines in Vegas – which has never happened – he wouldn’t have to buy time on a see-no-evil TV network. He’d own the network.

And Root has attached the names of McConkey, Hampton and White to their own tout phone numbers for “Absolutely Free!” picks, provided the caller gives his/her name and phone number for a call back, which is when the boiler room hard-sell begins.

Last week we wrote in this space about how Jimmy Vaccaro, former Vegas casino linesmaker and brother of sneaker-shaker Sonny Vaccaro, is now a full-blown scamdicapper. Well, now we’ve learned that he works for Wayne Root.

And USA Today’s lead TV sports columnist keeps writing about Root and his latest TV show as if it’s a neat, new and legit concept, the fool. Then again, USA Today has long served as the ask-no-questions haven for scamdicapper advertising.

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FAR BE it from me to defend Vince McMahon, but no one should be the least bit bent out of shape that his XFL has revealed its eight team names to be taken from Charles Manson’s Book of Sonnets.

You see, in a way – in a big, perverse way – most of the worst names were already taken by teams in legit sports leagues.

After all, while The New York Hitmen and the Orlando Rage are names in line with what McMahon has been selling to young audiences for years, the Predators was unavailable because it was already taken by an NHL team. Even the XFL’s reliance on gang-approved uniform colors has been played out by NFL, MLB, NBA and NHL teams. Sorry, Vince, this time, the rest of the, ahem, sports/enter-tainment world, beat you to the shock value.

In other words, the XFL’s team names and uniform colors are another “it’s no worse than … ” reality. And that’s the trouble with modern sports and entertainment: Everyone defends themselves for the dirt they do with the rationalization that “it’s no worse than this” or “it’s no worse than that.”

But nothing’s ever better than everything else.

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ONE of the saddest sportscaster sellouts finds Steve Albert as the co-host of Battle Dome, a WWF-style sex, violence and trash- talk fest for the kiddies, seen weekend afternoons on garbage- stricken Ch. 9.

While we’re not surprised to find professional mook Scott Ferrall as his sidekick, Albert’s dignity would’ve been better served fixing flats.

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