Hondo, aka Senor Sizzle, cashed again Saturday night, scoring with the Padres for an eighth straight triumph that boosted the earnings to 2,676 broglios.

Sunday: Mr. Aitch will try to spur the Cubs to a victory with a 20-unit play on Jonny Lager over Syndergaard.

Ever since Mika Brzezinski started dating her co-host, word is she is totally ineffective until she has her morning Joe. … Bill Clinton should have known better than to meet with Attorney General Loretta Lynch on the tarmac in Phoenix. It has been Clinton family policy not to linger near tarmacs ever since Hillary had to dodge that fusillade of imaginary sniper fire in Bosnia in 1996. … Chipotle marketing exec Mark Crumpacker was arrested for his alleged involvement in a New York cocaine ring. It could be Crumpacker, aka Nosepacker, who has been leading the company’s efforts to bring back customers after the E. coli fiasco, merely wanted to use the coke as part of a promotional campaign: Buy X number of burritos and receive X amount of free schnozzola candy.