Those red-hot Metamucils unloaded on the Birds yesterday, which had a positive effect on Hondo’s negative number.

Tonight, with the debt down to 850 whitsons, Mr. Aitch will flag down Garland in hopes that he’ll be able to extinguish the Jays — 10 units on the Padres. Also, as per the advice of Anthony Affrunti, The Post’s Puny Pony Picker (the diet is working), Hondo will place a 1-unit win wager on Long Island Louie in the fifth at Philly Park and the same investment on Angela’s Memories in the sixth at the same venue.

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More bad news for England’s soccer team: Sources say its goalie, Rob “Greasy Hands” Green, bruised his left foot last night when he let his fish and chips dinner plate slip through his hands . . . Brutally loquacious Hugo Chavez says parents in Venezuela have been known to use his speeches to put their children to sleep. If that doesn’t work they can just have them watch “Countdown” with Keith “Gasbag” Olbermann, aka Uberdork.

hondo@nypost.com