Hondo had a blast yesterday with the ‘Stros, who rocketed past the Dodgers and boosted Hondo’s dead presidents to 205 dierkers.

Tonight, unlike many, Mr. Aitch is not afraid to mess with Texas – 10 units on Bedard.

*

Kleptomania reportedly can be added to Lindsay “Firecrotch” Lohan’s list of vices. Apparently, what she does is use the afflicted area to create a diver sion, then bags the merchandise . . . Olympic officials made it clear last week they don’t want Clemens on the team. It’s not the ‘roids or HGH; it’s just that they feel it would be bad for team morale to have Rocket hitting on the young players’ girlfriends.

hondo@nypost.com