Hondo threw the no-blood splitter last night, scor ing with the Rangers and flopping with the Pirates to leave the deficit holding at a crisp 665 davenports.

Tonight, Mr. Aitch will slap his kiss of death on Gabbard – 10 units on the Bosawx. Also, 10 on Haren and the A’s.

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Lindsay “Firecrotch” Lohan claims the cocaine found in her pants didn’t belong to her. Normally a defense to be scoffed at, in her case it’s perfectly be lievable, given the amount of traffic her jeans generate. What’s most amazing is the coke was able to survive that incredible heat. Surely she was hous ing it in some special, NASA-issue, insulated casing.

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