Hondo, who bagged a monster victory Sunday with the Rangers, kept the good vibe going last night with the Rockies and Dodgers to slash the deficit to a crisp 550 perranoskis.

Tonight, he’ll go with Pet Peavy against the Meta mucils. Ten units on the Padres.

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Speaking of padres, insurance carriers reportedly will pay $227 million of the $660 mil owed by the L.A. Archdiocese to settle with victims of clergy abuse. Whew! Good thing the Archdiocese kept up with the premiums on its special Child-Molestors Policy . . . Lind say “Firecrotch” Lohan is concerned that nude pictures of her have been stolen and will appear on the Internet. CAUTION: Even though a special Firecrotch lens was used to neutralize the blinding glare, viewers of the photos are advised to wear a welder’s mask to avoid possible retinal damage.

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