The spaced-out Astros weren’t up to the task last night in Kansas City so Hondo’s accounts payable expanded to 235 gulletts.

Tonight, Mr. Aitch expects Lyons to show some pride against the Reds — 10 units on the Cards to put one in Latos’ loss column. Also, he will drop a unit on Palace Malice to win the Belmont.

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Obama, attempting to reassure the public over the NSA’s phone surveillance program, yesterday promised: “Nobody is listening to your phone calls.” That could be true, but not if you’re a reporter who isn’t part of the president’s lapdog media … Just when Obama thought things couldn’t get any worse, he stepped up to a teleprompter-less podium in San Jose yesterday and aides had forgotten to put a copy of his speech on it. And that, folks, is what it means to be totally helpless … It’s a close call as to what’s giving off a worse stench — Obama’s Washington scandals or Michael Douglas’ breath.

hondo@nypost.com