Hondo, who had a no-play Wednesday night with the Orioles, scored handsomely with the Tigers yes terday to decrease the dirty digits to 575 yastrzem skis.

Today, he’ll get on line with World Wide Webb – 10 units on the Snakes at Wrigley.

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Lindsay “Firecrotch” Lohan is wearing an alcohol- monitoring ankle bracelet to help her resist the urge to imbibe. It also provides a convenient place for her to hide her narcotics. She’s also wearing a special heat-monitoring device to measure the BTUs that emanate from her afflicted region.

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