Mister Fister and the Mariners last night provided an unwelcomed counterpoint to the Rockies’ victory, so Hondo was left to tread water at 610 pappases below sea level.

Tonight, Mr. Aitch will take a wild stab in the dark with the Orioles against the Yanks’ J.V. — 10 units.

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Former Royal-turned-bunco artist Sarah Ferguson told Oprah she was drunk when she agreed to pimp the Prince for $700,000. Well, that explains it; she was the victim of a BWI — bribed while intoxicated . . . Amid thunder and lightning and a torrential downpour, Obama canceled his Memorial Day speech yesterday in Elwood, Ill., telling the crowd: “We don’t want to endanger anyone, particularly the children.” Not to mention his teleprompters.

hondo@nypost.com