IT’S official: The Knicks have blown more leads than the Boulder Police. Sunday’s fourth-quarter frolics against an Orlando team with exactly one loaded weapon was so sinful that the Taliban sent flowers.
When Jeff Van Gundy was coach, underlined a player, “We lost some and we won some but we always seemed to know our roles.”
Since Don Chaney took over, “We’ve become selfish,” said the same Knick. “Everybody wants to play offense and nobody wants to play defense. We all want to do the individual things versus what’s good for the team.”
Here’s a thought: Perhaps the Garden can keep the homeboys’ score using the same fuzzy math that produces a sellout crowd every night.
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As if first year (last year?) coach Mo Cheeks doesn’t have enough trouble presiding over the has been/never was excessively overpaid (as in $40M over the cap) Jail Blazers, have you checked out what passes as their second team? Shawn Kemp, Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje, Zach Randolph, Steve Kerr and Rick Brunson are getting major minutes. Ordinarily, these guys would have to call in several favors just to get good seats.
Kemp plays solely because Trader Bob Whitsitt is groping to justify the team’s remaining $53M obligation to the floppy forward. Those are the only numbers you have to know regarding the man confectionately known in this space as the Wizard of Haagen Dazs.
Meanwhile, Boumtje-Boumtje, the 50th pick last June, is playing 9.5 minutes per game and scoring at 1.6 clip. Randolph, selected No. 19 in the same draft, is averaging 6.6 and 2.9. Kerr’s minutes (highest in three years) are 16.1. As for Brunson, who’s been part of every organization except NATO, The Daughters of the American Revolution and the League of Women Voters, he’s seeing 13.6 per of daylight.
At last glance, Kevin Garnett was out-hustling three Blazers for a loose ball on their own floor in Monday night’s game-ending melee (“Big deal,” said Chris Webber, “the Timberwolves will still disappear early in the playoffs”), which halfway explains the Scottie Pippen-less team’s 13-16 record, including four straight losses.
Things are so bad in Portland, Whitsitt might actually have to start returning phone calls from prospective dealers. The Blazers have made the playoffs a league-leading 19 times in a row, not missing since ’82. If improvements aren’t made soon, they can celebrate that 20th anniversary with a lottery party.
I’m waiting for someone (Whitsitt? Cheeks? Pippen? Zach Randolph? Joyce Randolph?) to take some semblance of responsibility. Whitsitt did just that in all sincerity after the Blazers got blanked by the Lakers in the playoffs and, in his next breath, fired Mike Dunleavy. Cheeks’ only hope of surviving past the All-Star break is if Whitsitt doesn’t start pointing his finger at himself.
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Did you see where Larry Brown relinquished his coaching duties (to assistant Randy Ayers) against the Nuggets, remaining in the locker room with muscle spasms? I’m guessing Brown arrived at the Pepsi Center, forgot which team he coached and twisted his neck trying to reach both doors at the same time.
Miami, which ended the year at Indiana last night, brought with it a string of six straight losses and 28 consecutive sub-100 point games. If Pat Riley sticks around any longer, he’ll tarnish Randy Pfund’s legacy.
Think Ray Allen can take the hint? He misses the first games of his pro career and the Bucks reel off four straight wins, including two against the Spurs, before yesterday’s loss in Chicago. “We’re finally able to get Joel Przybilla more involved,” George Karl said. “Denzel always liked Joel better, anyway.”
Props to Pau Gasol, who notched 24 points and 15 boards in Sunday’s loss to the Spurs: “Generalissimo Franco and I are so proud,” said Dan Issel.
Michael Jordan went from cracking half of double figures (six) to cracking half of triple figures (51). “That’s just like our attendance,” noted Twin Blades Lamoriello.
This just in: Isaiah Rider refused to submit a specimen after Winona Ryder was nailed for shoplifting.
