Though Richard Brautigan’s 1967 counter-culture book “Trout Fishing In America” had little to do with trout fishing, this story comes closer.

Once upon a time, back when home run hitters, taking nothing for granted — back when modesty was considered an attribute — were too far past first to accept congrats from first-base coaches, MLB didn’t have marketing departments.

The best players, and for only the right reasons, were The Game’s stars. We knew them without trying. They didn’t need to be marketed, or as Rob Manfred suggested for Mike Trout, become “a brand.”

The only “marketing” I can recall is when MLB-partnered Topps cards foolishy began to Anglo-Saxonize Roberto Clemente by identifying him as “Bob” Clemente. It didn’t take.

Also back then, no TV network would ever hire the disreputable to represent their network and The Game. Pete Rose and Alex Rodriguez would be, again for only the right reasons, personas non grata. David Ortiz, regardless of whether he used PEDs, would have had no shot, given his vulgar public behavior.

Thus Manfred’s All-Star break plaint that Angels star Mike Trout “has made decisions on what he wants to do and doesn’t want to do, how he wants to spend his free time. I think we could help make his brand very big. But he has a decision to engage. It takes time and effort.”

The next question is easy: What prevents MLB from marketing — selling — Trout as a good example of the complete team player when such are trending extinct? Why can’t MLB do what Trout is hesitant to do?

So how would marketing strategists “brand” — remake — Trout to conform to modern code, the one that rewards those transparently starved for attention (see: Odell Beckham, Jr.).

First and foremost, Trout must cease running to first after he belts one deep. ESPN, Fox, MLB Network reward the posers — until they hit the now common “home run single.” Only then do they become foolish.

Why, after smashing one deep, would Trout merely toss his bat aside rather than flip it in majestic self-regard? He’d have to change that.

And he must stop trying to make contact on two strike pitches — cease trying to swing for a hit — and instead continue to swing for the exit-velocity, launch-angle fences. This season he has struck out fewer times than he has both hits and walks. The gall! Who does he think he is, Ted Williams?

For an added flourish, he should wear his cap tilted to one side to convey “attitude.”

After that? Some “social media” insults, put-downs, profanities. Start a beef with someone. Radio talk shows will provide him a full day’s feast.

After all, Trout can’t rely on Manfred’s MLB to do for him what MLB should be doing for baseball.

With the Royals in town, and July 24 having been the 35th anniversary of the Royals-Yankees Pine-Tar Game, time to get something off my chest:

That game was my last bet with a bookie. … What’s that? … Well, how do you think I made out? I had the losing side that later — too late for me — became the winning side after winning its appeal.

It was a “smart” bet. The Royals had Bud Black, a “crafty southpaw” in the Whitey Ford mold, vs. Shane Rawley, a pitcher in the Luke Warm mold. And in 1983 they didn’t yank starters after five or six innings. And I was getting 6 or 6 ½ to risk 5, well worth a shot.

You know the rest. George Brett’s ninth-inning two-run home run to give the Royals a 5-4 lead was wiped out when Brett was ruled to have had too much black stick-um on his bat. The Yanks became 4-3 winners … temporarily. Three weeks later the game was re-started in the top of the ninth, with the Royals up, 5-4, the official final score.

But temporarily was good enough for my bookie.

I asked him if I could withhold payment pending the outcome of KC’s appeal. At least I made him laugh.

Then I played the other side: “But what if those who bet the Yankees refused to be paid pending the outcome of that appeal? Would you agree to not yet pay them?”

He gave that some thought until he said, “Yeah, gladly.”

And that was that. I was kaput. Capeesh? Kaput.

If you can’t follow your team, follow the money. Two local San Francisco Giants fans we heard from had purchased MLB’s season package specifically to watch the Giants. But MLB sold Wednesday’s game against the Mariners as a Facebook exclusive.

Thursday, 11:14 p.m., MLBN flashed “Breaking News”: The Yankees have acquired Zach Britton. That “breaking news” was more than a day old.

SNY’s Keith Hernandez has been at this too long to still be heard as some high-school game, local cable-access cheerleader. Thursday, after Brandon Nimmo doubled, he piped, “That is what we need to see more of!” Soon followed a reference to the Mets as “us.”

Reader Gary Wilbur, noting the A’s, down to the Rangers, 10-2, in the seventh inning, scored 11 runs to win, 13-10, in 10: “I hope Texas didn’t attempt any unnecessary stolen bases when they were leading by eight.”

Still not sure why Nimmo points skyward after being hit by pitches, now an MLB-high 16 times. As a practical matter of giving thanks, why not point to the pitcher?

What can I tell ya? After 30 years, John Sterling still doesn’t think the score is any of your business.

We Love Stats’ Save of the Month to Cleveland’s Adam Plutko. Against the Reds, he entered with a 17-1 lead and pitched four innings, allowing six hits, two walks, three earned runs in a 19-4 final. Yep, he saved the game!

A Michelob ad now seen during sports telecasts shows folks here, there and everywhere singing a beer-drinking song. A man is seen and heard singing — gurgling — the song while swimming underwater. Beneath that, a small graphic appears: “Do Not Attempt.” Seriously.