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SUNDAY’S action was the joint, column contributor Jay Negron decided.

“It was like the pulsating playoffs . . . late rounds,” reports the transplanted South Bronx/South Florida DJ who routinely has my back and front when I’m otherwise detained.

Trash was talked. Adjustments were made. Streak shooters were stalked. Superstars were surrounded.

Kevin Garnett’s trigger finger twitched during the showdown. After skin-poppin’ 18-footers with regularity with no pressure in the cooker, The Counterfeit Ticket reverted to form and clunked two when it counted.

Tim Duncan was Tim Duncan; subdued with a shiny new dome.

The Celtics gave Matt Bonner the same disrespect opponents give Brian Scalabrine, not bothering to cover him (23 points, 3-of-6 from the outskirts) until it was too late.

Roger Mason (at least there was a hand in his face) continued to prove to be the second-best bargain free agent signing last summer at $7.2 million for two years. Number one is Chris Duhon: $11M over two. At $1.5M for one, Flip Murray is third.

An emotional week appeared to sap the Vitamin C’s. In the final, fatal minutes they collectively ran out of petrol and brain power. Eddie House rushed to 3-point territory and turned it over. K.G. contributed two ill-advised 20-footers. The Spurs defense was chest-to-chest in the third and fourth quarters, ironing-on principally to Ray Allen.

If it wasn’t bad enough, the Lakers terminated the Celtics’ two longest runs of the season (19 and 12), and the visiting Spurs notched 18 of the game’s last 30 points to register a parquet pilfer. Boston embarks on a six-game, All-Star wraparound, two-week expedition. The good news: The trip gets underway tomorrow night against the Chris Paul-less Hornets.

By the time the Celtics return to the Commonwealth, John Kerry might almost be viable.

Then came one of the nitworks’ Fave Five probable Finals matchups: Lakers vs. Cavaliers.

At least that’s how it was billed. How it was played by the NBA’s top two pin-up boys (total of 35 points) was another story.

Kobe upchucked more (8-of-17) than a recovering anorexic.

LeBron misguided so many (5-of-20) it sent shockwaves throughout Cleveland’s community. This just in: Citizens have told him to “get out of town and take the Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame with you.”

To improve his image, LeBron has disguised himself as Art Modell.

Bottom line: The Cavs suffered this season’s first loss at the Hock Shop.

“They have one hole to fill if they sincerely want to win a title and that hole is named Ben Wallace,” accentuates Negron. “If you ever wondered why the Pistons gave up so easily on him (and kept on competing for conference championships, by the way) check out Sunday’s game.

“While Lamar Odom was showing the Cavs da Bronx & Queens, Gentle Ben looked like a conscientious objector. Looked like he never heard of ‘help-defense.’ Meanwhile, Lamar was gobbling up every offensive rebound in the third quarter (15 points and 10 rebounds; 28 and 17, overall).”

The Big Three automakers would kill for a quarter like that.

A few years ago, nobody would be able to come down the paint as many times as Lamar did on the road without “feeling it” for the next 72 hours. I thought pain is what Wallace was supposed to administer.

Is that LeBrontosaurus’ job (eight rebounds, 12 assists), too?

Why waste minutes on Wallace when you’ve got Anderson Varejao at your disposal? Get him a cheerleading outfit and a towel to wave and hope, should he fling it at Ron Artest, Tru Warier again isn’t looking.

“Not complaining, just explaining,” Negron says.

*

Good thing baseball season is getting closer. Nothing quite reaffirms all that is good and decent quite like the current all-time home run leader and his supposed successor subscribing to the DuPont “better living through chemistry” mantra.

Say this much for A-Rod . . . if he paid his taxes, he can always get a job in the Obama administration.

A freeze has been declared on putting down Michael Phelps by any sportswriter or broadcaster who ever smoked a joint.

Props to former Falcons’ running back – and current ESPN smoking head – Jamal Anderson, charged over the weekend with felony cocaine possession and misdemeanor marijuana possession.

ESPN’s new motto, reports column castigator Frank Drucker: The Worldwide Leader in Snorts.

This just in: Bernie Madoff has changed his name to Ponzi Wells.

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