TUESDAY WAS another one of those TV sports nights that was fully in the hands of the marketing strategists, the fabulous folks who have determined for all of us the only fans who count are young wise-guys. Other fans, and of all ages, could watch, but they were hardly welcomed.

Halftime of Pistons-Nets Game 4, on TNT, to the surprise of only the uninitiated, began with an intramural put-down session. One could immediately sense the aim was to rev up Charles Barkley.

Regular panelist Kenny Smith told host Ernie Johnson he liked his tie, adding, “That tie you had on the other night looked like crap.” Charming. Somewhere, perhaps, a 14-year-old got a kick out of that. “Ooooo, he said crap!” Then again, these days you gotta do better than “crap” to win the attention and affection of 14-year-olds.

Then the focus of the NBA Playoffs halftime show turned to what Barkley was wearing. Forced gags, followed by forced laughs. This was the smallest kind of small talk – and our out-cue.

We thumbed to ESPN to catch the Sharks-Flames playoff game. An NHL/Bud Light commercial soon appeared. It was another one of those go-for-the-crotch numbers, you know, young guys want it and young women gotta have it. And beer helps.

But this ad was particularly noteworthy because it carried the NHL’s logo and because, a month ago, Anheuser-Busch boss August Busch IV, to a gathering of ad execs, acknowledged Budweiser’s TV ads had become inexcusably coarse and that changes to travel a higher road had been made.

In fact, the three Bud ads that aired during the last Super Bowl – a flatulent mule, a man about to undergo a bikini waxing and a crotch-biting dog – had been quickly removed from circulation. Apparently, not everyone got a copy of Mr. Busch’s memo.

Then it was over to Fox Sports Net to check out ex-ESPNer Max Kellerman’s new show, “I, Max.” Kellerman was interviewing Drew Rosenhaus, the loudmouthed, self-promoting sports agent who’s always available. Sports TV is good at making stars out of fellas such as Rosenhaus.

It was difficult to ascertain what they were debating because they were hollering at each other. Loud now makes good sports TV, too. Loud makes the subject matter irrelevant. Loud makes young sports fans take notice. At least it’s supposed to.

* Welcome To The Club: Last November 18, New Hyde Park’s Ben Sanudo, father of six-year-old Ryan, sent $26 to join the “Yankees Fan Club For Kids.” The come-on promised a voucher for four half-price tickets to a regular season home game and a membership card entitling the holder to $2 off tickets to selected games.

Sanudo soon received the package in the mail. Except there were two small problems: The voucher was for the 2003 season and the discount ticket membership card carried an expiration date of March 31, 2004. Both were worthless.

Naturally, Sanudo contacted the club. On April 7, he received an e-mail from Cliff Rowley, the Yanks’ Coordinator of Sponsorship Services, thanking him for his patience and noting that the problem would be rectified, “ASAP.”

That was five weeks ago. Sanudo sent the check six months ago. He’s still waiting.