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Red Bull captain Juan Pablo Angel called Thursday night’s season-opening 3-0 bomb in Seattle unacceptable. I’d tack on unbecoming, uninspired and undisciplined, too. And that’s for starters.

I was actually holding down the fort at the Garden tonight, so the Knicks _ who lost even worse than the Red Bulls, BTW _ kept me from going into this match. Which I’m sure is just as well for most of you. As good as Seattle and Fredy Montero were _ and the 21-year-old Colombian was plenty good, outshining Angel with two goals and an assist _ the fact is the Red Bulls were just plain poor.

How? Oh, let us count the ways…

An expansion club took apart their defense by switching fields and making smart, crisp runs off the ball. Yes, Montero was sublime, but Juan Pietravallo and the rest of the midfield not only consistently lost their men all night long, but were also careless and turnover-prone under pressure.

Boy, one can only hope the newcomers turn out to be pretty good _ once they finally start playing. Khano Smith’s suspension will be over for Saturday’s home opener vs. New England, and that midfield really needs Albert Celades to get cleared to play, because they were overrun both offensively and defensively. Juan Carlos Osorio used Mac Kandji over Dominic Oduro, and he did little but cough up the ball on failed first touches. He also picked Carlos Mendes at right back and Andrew Boyens at centerback, and the former got exposed out wide and the latter was culpable on the second goal when he let his man go.

By the time Osorio went to the bench for Jeremy Hall to deal with Seattle’s speed, they were down 2-0 and it was too late. Let’s hope he learns from that by Saturday.

Newly-signed fullbacks Alfredo Pacheco and Carlos Johnson are going to miss the hjome opener because they’ll be away with their nationals teams, as will midfielders Dane Richards and Jorge Rojas, invisible in the first half Thursday night. Since Pietravallo and Sinisa Ubiparipovic weren’t performing, he had to drop far too deep for the ball, which killed the offense.

(And why pair those two when Luke Sassano had a solid camp and Pietravallo played poorly, and very rarely alongside Ubi? Just a random thought…)

Now Mike Petke was a stone wall in the back _ his late giveaway to Montero notwithstanding _ and I thought Hall acquitted himself well for his first MLS action. But Kevin Goldthwaite had a shocker of a game, and unfortunately there are no other choices at left back because Pacheco won’t be available until April 5 at Chicago.

Think Osorio will shuffle things up in the midfield, benching Pietravallo and Kandji for Stammler and Sassano? Think we’ll see a 4-4-2? Hoping against hope that Celades can bring some poise and possession _ just a little _ to the midfield? Talk to us. Vent at us. Just keep it clean. We’re a family blog here….

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