Hondo took a double-beating yesterday when he had a problem in Houston with the Padres, which preceded a Beantown beatdown with the Rays that sliced the earnings to 305 malzones.

Tonight, it’s clear from the CAREER vs OPP column of the Pitching Form that Santana can’t possibly beat Los Bravos, which makes Mr. Aitch high on Lowe & Co. Ten units.

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Dodgers’ owner Frank McCourt wants Mommy Ramirez to address the team about his suspension for using a female fertility drug. McCourt apparently feels it would be helpful for the former “face of the fran chise” to speak to the team about what it’s like now that he has become the “big and pimply man-breasts of the franchise” . . . Germaphobe Joe Biden yesterday delivered a commencement speech at Syracuse U. Sadly, none of the grads heard his message, because it was muffled by the surgical mask he was wearing to ward off the flu formerly known as swine.

hondo@nypost.com