“You tell me over and over and over again my friend,
Ah, you don’t believe we’re on the eve of destruction.”

North Korea’s jovial dictator Kim Jong Un boasted this weekend that all sections of the U.S. mainland are now in range of his country’s missiles. Our defense department countered a day later with a successful interception of a missile test from the Pacific. OK. But really the only way to be safe is to find out where Kim’s bromancer Dennis Rodman is hanging. … SAFE! Just like those nachos Chris Christie was holding when he got into yet another verbal confrontation at a Milwaukee Brewers home game. … Go home Chris and maybe, I don’t know, govern?

Phillies beat the Braves 7-6. Trusted Mike Foltynewicz facing the league’s worst but he surrendered five runs in just four innings. “L” dropped us to 1,021 youngbloods.

Champion Cubs are heading in the right direction and have taken charge of their division. Jon Lester gave up four hits last week at Wrigley. Arizona’s in the windy city. 20 units on the Cubs.