Jens Pulver’s toughest battle is the one within.
The first-ever UFC lightweight champion has beaten legend BJ Penn. He’s gone to battle with Urijah Faber. But the opponents he has failed to conquer ones that he’ll never see across from him in the cage.
Ironically, they’re also what’s stopping him from calling it quits at age 38.
“The reason why I keep going is because I refuse to let anxiety and depression beat me,” Pulver told The Post.
Pulver’s incredible journey has now taken him to Asia. On April 5, he’ll face Masakatsu Ueda in the semifinals of the ONE FC bantamweight grand prix at ONE FC: Kings & Champions in Singapore. He’s a respectable 5-3 in his last eight fights and finally feels mentally on the right track.
It wasn’t long ago, though, that Pulver was coming apart at the seams. From June 1, 2008, a loss to Faber in WEC, to Aug. 14, 2010, Pulver lost six straight fights and he was finished all but one time. There were plenty who remembered his prime – Pulver is one of just two men to beat Penn at lightweight (Frankie Edgar, the other) – calling for his retirement.
Deep down, Pulver knew that wasn’t the real him losing at a rapid rate, getting alarmingly beaten up in just about every fight. Something was holding him back. His nutrition was terrible. He wasn’t training hard. His confidence? Completely shot.
“At one point I was just trying to stay alive in the sport,” Pulver said. “It was one step away from Toughman. I was just gonna go out there and throw down.”
Mentally, Pulver wouldn’t let himself succeed. The anxiety and depression had won the battle and the godfather of the lightweight division was a shell of his former self.
“Anxiety is a mother, man,” Pulver said. “It tears you up inside. When you have depressed anxiety, you don’t feel like you just lost. It turns into, ‘I suck. I don’t even know why I’m trying this.’”
There were times when Pulver could barely remember being the first UFC 155-pound champion. It seemed like a past life.
Those memories are more vivid now. Nearing middle age, Pulver has become more of a family man. He credits his wife Kannika for helping him and he has found a kindred spirit in Lance Steffen, who he is building a brand new gym with in Kearney, Neb.
The most important thing Pulver has learned over the last three years is to love himself. His “Nvr Fly Solo” program, which he founded last year, is all about teaching that to those who suffer with anxiety and depression like he does.
“I needed to become my own best friend,” Pulver said. “Never fly solo – you’re never by yourself.”
In training, Pulver has gone back to basics. Not only is he as disciplined physically as he ever has been – 135 is likely his best weight class – but he has returned to his base: wrestling.
Pulver admitted relying too much on his striking over the years and forgetting that he was once an NJCAA wrestling All-American. He trains now with college wrestling champions TJ Hepburn and Josh Smith in Kearney.
“I really took a page from Randy Couture,” Pulver said. “The best thing is to grab a hold of these youngsters and drag them into the quicksand. I’m getting back to what I used to be so good at: dirty boxing.”
On April 5, Pulver meets Ueda, who is arguably the favorite to win the bantamweight grand prix. That’s exactly what he wanted – the greatest challenge. It would be Pulver’s best win since beating current UFC featherweight contender Cub Swanson in 2007.
“The grand prix gives Jens another opportunity to make another run for the title and he’s embracing the challenge,” ONE FC CEO Victor Cui said. “I’ve learned long ago to never doubt him since he keeps proving his doubters wrong.”
That Swanson fight was a long time ago, before Pulver headed down that dark path. He knows there aren’t many bouts left in his illustrious career, but the only way he’s going to go out is on his own terms.
“I can’t let that beat me,” he said of anxiety and depression. “Until I can figure out how to control that, give myself a 100 percent opportunity and have a great camp and then still get beat up, then I’m done.
“I want to be able to walk away with a smile on my face.”
mraimondi@nypost.com
