A HIRED gun will walk through the door, lift the Yankees to unbeatable status, solve all their problems, a panacea in pinstripes. A David Cone or a Cecil Fielder.

Not.

The problem with assuming the Yankees will make a blockbuster deal that empowers their offense is that doing so would require benching a player.

Exactly whom would you like the Yankees to bench?

“Where do you go?” Torre asked. “Right field, center field, left field?”

He shook his head side to side.

“First base, second base, third base, shortstop, catcher,” he said with another shake of the head. “Not even DH. … If anything, we’d be looking to help ourselves on the bench.”

The Yankees certainly need to do that, but as far expecting a Barry Bonds to ride in on a white horse or David Wells to burn in on a Harley, forget about it.

“I don’t think we need anything other than to play more consistent,” Torre said.

“We just need a little more productivity from people we’re going to get it from.”

Players such as David Justice, who is on a nice little run that suggests he is on his way out of the forest of funk, and Paul O’Neill, who entered last night’s game in a 1-for-22 malaise, and Bernie Williams.

That’s a lot of tossed equipment, kicked dirt, self-battery.

I hate the way O’Neill throws equipment. Always have. Not just now, when the end is nearing. Always. I hate that the Little League players and high-school jocks imitate his outbursts, which, regardless of intent, are disrespectful to opponents.

I love the way O’Neill plays in big games. Always have.

Remember him sprinting through the hamstring pain, the feeling of shards of glass stabbing him with every stride, to catch that ball in the Division Series against the Indians in 1997?

He’ll still will what talent remains to the surface when it matters most. He’ll do it the way Don Mattingly did it in his final series, that classic Division Series against the Mariners. Mattingly wasn’t a productive player that season. He was a dangerous player who produced in a big way for the Yankees in the postseason.

O’Neill isn’t a No. 3 hitter anymore. The time will come soon when Joe Torre drops him from third to sixth or seventh and puts Justice in the No. 3 hole.

If Shane Spencer ever gets it together at Triple-A Columbus, it’s conceivable he’ll play in front of O’Neill against certain left-handers.

Going outside the organization with the intent of benching is another matter entirely. Torre wouldn’t stand for disrespecting a player who has done as much for him and for the Yankees in such a way. He wouldn’t stand for replacing a player he knows will be there in October.

O’Neill, even during his best days, wasn’t perfect. Being “ultra-competitive” is no excuse for throwing tantrums when the game situation calls for running hard to first base.

“He does a lot of things out of frustration and they hurt him,” Torre said.

Torre doesn’t like it when O’Neill throws equipment. He doesn’t like it when O’Neill beats himself up over failures. The things he loves about O’Neill far outweigh the things that frustrate him.

“I’d like to have every player on my team care as much as Paul O’Neill cares,” Torre said. It came from the heart.

No new every-day players will be walking through the clubhouse door.

If not right field, then where? Nowhere, that’s where.

They could go outside the organization for a right-handed bat that will fortify the bench. They could add a middle reliever, maybe even a fifth starter. Spencer and/or Nick Johnson could supply help from Columbus in time.

For the most part, these are the what-you-see-is-what-you-get Yankees, playing at a level similar to that of the Red Sox, Indians, Mariners and Twins.

It doesn’t look as if they will buy help this time. It only makes them more appealing.