Dear John: Your recently suggested tax on carbon dioxide — CO2 — is right up Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’ alley.

Just think of how collecting all that tax revenue might make Venezuela great again!

Or, with a borderless world, how much potential tax revenue the Central American caravans will be carrying! But those breathers who work will no doubt have to subsidize those who do not.

I’m sure the CO2 tax will be a progressive one.

Please don’t give Rep. Ocasio-Cortez any more new and nuttier ideas that probably seem perfectly reasonable to her and her ilk. R.A.

Dear R.A.: Look, put your hand in front of your face and breathe out. What do you feel? Warmth.

So, clearly, the fact that people breathe is helping to cause global warming. So why shouldn’t breathers pay for breathing? And if you want to breathe more air — and release more CO2 into the atmosphere — than the person next to you, then you should pay more.

And, of course, those infamous “heavy breathers” should pay through the nose, so to speak.

Wait — before you and I take this too far and people who didn’t read my original column get confused, that was what we writers call “satire.” Those of you who don’t write for a living might call it a “put-on,” a “goof.”

And if I had written my CO2 idea a few days earlier on April 1, the end would have said “April Fools.”

My main point was that we are getting taxed too damned much. And the tax schemes are getting crazier and crazier. And nothing could be crazier than my idea — taxing the air we breathe.

Thanks for playing along.