WINNERS

PREET BHARARA

US attorney tries the Seafood Special with fraud charges against two JPMorgan traders in London Whale mess.

MICHAEL DELL

Scores big court win in war to take PC maker private; judge clears way for Sept. 12 vote.

JEFF VANDERBEEK

Makes around $80M with sale of NJ Devils hockey team.

LOSERS

TIM ARMSTRONG

AOL (rhymes with hell) boss publicly fires picture taker; so much fun that he then lays off up to 500 more employees.

JOHN SEXTON

Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley calls NYU prexy out on cushy $1M loan for Fire Island getaway.

BILL ACKMAN

Another bad week for hedgie; he was shown the Penney boardroom door.