WINNERS

TIM COOK

Apple CEO now leads world’s most valuable company. Ever.

SPAM

Hey, a little respect, please! Legendary pig-in-a-can’s sales help send parent Hormel’s earnings to hog heaven.

JIMMY KIMMEL

Heeeere’s Jimmy! ABC goes for latenight ad bucks by sending in kid to take on Dave and Jay.

LOSERS

MARK ZUCKERBERG

More woes for CEO as Facebook sparks outrage by hosting ‘humorous’ pedophile page.

BOB GREIFELD

Speaking of Zuck’s ‘friends,’ Nasdaq boss takes more heat, from UBS and Citigroup, for botched FB rollout.

NIGEL TRAVIS

Dunkin’ Donuts chief deals with discrimination suit filed by former franchisees.