AGENT Roger Paul doesn’t like the term D-list.
“I’ve always had a good thing with reviving careers,” says Paul, a soft-voiced Manhattanite in his early 40s whose roster of clients includes Screech (“He was offered a porno; we turned it down”), Skippy (“I told him not to do ‘Last Comic Standing’ “) and Jimmie “J.J.” Walker (“Did you know Letterman and Leno were his original writers? That’s why he always does their shows.”) Paul will give you the straight scoop.
Worked with Gary Coleman once (“Disastrous”). Took calls about both the judge from “Night Court” Harry Anderson (“He should get on TV again”) and the uber-geek from “Head of the Class” Dan Frischman (“Looking at, talking to”). Used to rep Gabe Kaplan until he got too big (“The poker thing is really taking off”) and is even helping arrange a gig for Kathy Griffin (“She’s tough, smart.”) To top it all off, there’s that show with Foghat and .38 Special he’s making happen in Missouri.
He just doesn’t like the term D-list.
It’s not fair to him, it’s not fair to his roster of clients, and most importantly, it’s not fair to Screech – or Screech’s impressive anatomy.
That’s right. One of Paul’s more buzzy clients, the now 29-year-old former “Saved by the Bell” star turned stand-up comic, recently found himself revealing this naughty bit during a visit to Howard Stern that quickly turned into an “endowment detective session.” Truth be told, Screech (it’s OK, he still calls himself that) was supposed to be on the show to hawk his “I paid $15 to save Screeech’s house” Tshirts, complete with the extra “e” to avoid copyright infringement, but the entire situation got out of hand.
“I used to do a joke in my act,” explains Dustin Diamond from the home he is trying to save in Milwaukee. “It was about how we did so many different versions of ‘Saved by the Bell’ . . . like the old class, the new class, the college years. I said, ‘I think they did “Saved by the Bell” on the Spice Network; it was called “Shaved by the” – oh never mind.’ ” Crass? Yep. Sort of embarrassing?
Totally. Would Mr. Belding approve?
No flippin’ way.
But still. Screech is back, baby – thanks, in no small part, to the handiwork of agent Roger Paul.
It’s all about the “three H’s” as Paul calls them – heat, hype and happening – and you can bet Slater’s permed mullet (yes, that is a line from Screech’s stand-up) that each corner of this magical Hollywood triangle is starting to realign quicker than you can say, “A Very Special Episode.” From an office around the corner from Ellen’s Stardust Diner that he describes as meat-and-potatoes meets “Broadway Danny Rose,” the unendingly patient Paul takes calls throughout the day from all three of these stars he prefers to call his “second-chance” types.
“I don’t say they are D-list,” emphasizes Paul, sitting at his desk, where a sign in the background reads, “One Day the Pieces Will Fall Into Place.” “They’re not your Tom Cruises or your Johnny Depps, but what they have done is given us just as much laughs and enjoyment as those other guys have.” Who is Roger Paul? A Jew with a Christmas wreath in his office, a man who lives off of seemingly nothing but diet Coke, pretzels and Werther’s Originals, a divorcee whose ex-wife is – of course – a comic, an ICM veteran, a diehard fan of smart, smart jokes, an exercise fanatic, a guy who nurtures his clients . . . even when their personal lives gets completely screwed up.
Plus, he kind of hopes the blonde he’s been chasing at the gym the past four years might be impressed by reading all this.
Roger is currently pitching Screech as part of his “Nerds of Comedy” tour to casinos around the country, with Skippy and former “The X-Files” player Dean Haglund.
While Screech is still employing jaw-droppers like his popular “Zack is gay” routine (“I can say anything I want about imaginary characters,” he reminds us), Skippy says he’s actually dropped many of the Mallory jokes.
Calling from New Orleans, where he’s playing Harrah’s Casino, the 38year-old spews out a number of Dangerfield-esque zingers about the world of Roger Paul. “He’s the only agent with TV Land on his speed dial. I’m telling you, it’s an episode of ‘Surreal Life’ waiting to happen in his lobby. But he doesn’t have a lobby. We wait out in the hallway. It’s the ‘Where are the wows?’ As in ‘Where are they? Wow.’ It’s the pseudocelebrities.” He pauses.
Timing.
“It’s hard to believe that he’s an agent,” Price says genuinely.
“Because he’s actually a decent human being.” Price is also thrilled, he says, to be on the same roster as Jimmie “J.J.” Walker, once named “Comedian of the Decade” by Time, and who got his start playing for the Black Panthers and now tours about 46 weeks a year.
“Having a show like ‘Good Times’ again, it’s like asking would you like to win the lottery again?” reflects 59year-old Walker via e-mail because he doesn’t do phone interviews anymore. “Of course, you would, but the entertainment landscape has changed dramatically.” Walker says the one throughline of his career is stand-up, which is “only possible through the hard work of guys like Roger.” Then he adds, “Check out jimmiejjwalker at MySpace, which I recently added because everyone else seems to be there. The only problem? I am currently 0 on my friend counter. Hopefully Roger will go there and remedy the situ!” Paul is in fact hip to the younger vibe and the younger crowd with a roster of clients (his total is about 30 which he shares with a partner) that includes such up-and-comers as Courtney Fine, named one of GQ’s next big things and currently doing a one-woman show. Way back when, one of Paul’s “up and comers” was in fact Lewis Black.
“There was a time when Roger was one of the only ones batting for him and I didn’t think he’d make it, and boy was I wrong,” Price laughs.
“Paul knew it, and has known it many times since.” What’s more, Price adds, Paul knew “Last Comic” would be bad news. “He was right, and I probably should have just listened to him, but hey, I went for it.” Price is cheerful. He’s psyched, he’s pitching his “Billionerds” concept with Paul, and overall life is pretty good beyond the 14 seconds America saw recycled on late-night TV.
“OK,” Price says. “Here’s the Roger Paul quote. ‘He believes in the performer, not the former.’ ” A pause. Timing.
“C’mon, that’s good,” he says. “I just thought of that.”
DON’T CALL IT A COMEBACK – ROGER PAUL’S “SECOND CHANCE” CLIENT LIST
FRENCHIE DAVIS
Famous For: Getting kicked off “American Idol” after topless pictures of her surfaced on the Web site “Daddy’s Little Girls.”
Last Seen: Singing the solo “Seasons of Love” in “Rent” at the Nederlander Theatre.
Paul’s Pitch: The way that I try to sell her is that she’s got the most amazing voice. Everyone’s looking for the good stuff, and she’s got a lot of edge. She’s got a lot of raw energy, powerful vocals that will bring any house down.
She loves ’80s rock. Pat Benatar is her favorite.”
MARC PRICE
Famous For: Pining after Mallory, cowering from Nick, taking comfort from Elyse and just generally nailing the role of Skippy Handleman on “Family Ties.”
Last Seen: On “Last Comic Standing,” getting booted – even after his joke about the new and improved Skippy now having nuts.
Paul’s Pitch: “High energy, very personable, great storyteller. With Marc, you can do TV Land, you can hit him up on the commercials. In his material, he does some stuff on ‘Family Ties,’ but he doesn’t butcher anyone. Mallory [Justine Bateman], it’s one thing, but Michael J., he likes him. I don’t know if Mallory was ever friendly to him – even off-set. Marc is like a ball of energy. He’s hard to calm down.”
JIMMIE “J.J.” WALKER
Famous For: Being absolutely dy-nomite on “Good Times.” Sorry. But he really was.
Last Seen: A TV Land segment about the art of being Jimmie and a spot on “Everybody Hates Chris.”
Paul’s Pitch: “Here’s a pure comedy legend. He was first and foremost a stand-up. He’s clean. The only dirty word he uses is ‘damn,’ and his range of comedy is anywhere from politics to observational material to personal. He won’t say ‘dy-no-mite’ unless you pay him a lot of money.”
DUSTIN DIAMOND
Last Seen: On “The View” and “Howard Stern on Demand” hawking T-shirts in a last-ditch effort to raise the $250,000 he needs to prevent foreclosure on his Wisconsin home.
Famous For: Finishing as the top student at Bayside, unrequited love for Lisa Turtle and rocking a dance contest as nerd icon Screech Powers on “Saved by the Bell.” (below right)
Paul’s Pitch: “You can’t get anymore visible than Dustin. He’s in 200 to 300 markets daily, and sometimes it airs more than twice a day. The press eats him up like crazy. He gives some pretty funny insights about ‘Saved by the Bell,’ but he’s so different, he’s not the goody-two-shoes type. It’s a very R-rated show with his stand-up. But it’s very high energy. He does autograph signing at the end.” “
