As my 3-year-old sang every word to “I Can’t Feel My Face” from the back seat the other day, it finally dawned on me — wait, this song is about cocaine.

Not sure what I thought The Weeknd was singing about before — perhaps the importance of proper winter attire or the dangers of strokes. But suddenly I was paying a lot more attention to Top 40 radio and the human sponge in the back seat, panicked that the munchkin would start wondering why Demi Lovato really likes cherries.

This is what drives parents into the questionable arms of “Kidz Bop,” the popular series of albums that sanitize pop hits. Since 2000, this bane of toddler birthday parties has cumulatively sold nearly 16 million copies, and Friday, the 31st edition arrives, covering everyone from Justin Bieber to X Ambassadors, though, alas, not The Weeknd.

But do I really want to inflict these bleached ballads on her — and, more importantly, me? I listened to a sampling of “Kidz Bop” to see if I could feel my face afterward.