Make no mistake about it, “American Idol” is not about the singer or the song – it’s about the soap.

Almost all about the soap, in fact.

Who’s getting broken, who’s getting thrown off, who’s a creepy spousal-abusing druggie, who’s sleeping with whom?

Now that’s entertainment. And it’s riveting.

But if this were real life (and make no mistake – TV has nothing to do with real life), the season’s remaining contestants would have never gotten off the wedding/bar mitzvah/bar circuit, let alone become famous.

OK, sure, Carrie and Vonzell have had their moments – but not enough of them to compensate for the glaring sourdough notes and white-bread recycling of standards.

Trust me, a new Macy Gray ain’t coming out of this crop so fast.

“The Lounge Lozenge”

Vonzell Solomon

Whitney channeling Nora channeling Donna Summer. Vonzell is a born jazz singer whose voice can soothe your irritation. But is that enough? Probably not. There’s the makings of a very good singer here, but her strength is her undoing – somehow it’s all too familiar. Winner who might be a loser.

Odds: 20-1

“The Black White Man”

Scott Savol

How did this tub of a girlfriend-abuser get trapped in Steve Martin’s “The Jerk?” How else do you explain this nearly talentless, Shaker Heights suburban malcontent’s belief that he’s a black gangsta from the ghetto? Perry Como meets Fat Joe. Get the hook! Big loser.

Odds: 100-1

“The Skater”

Anthony Fedorov

If ever a man was born to strap on a pair of ice skates, tight pants and a sequined top, it’s Anthony! How someone this bland managed to escape “Disney On Ice” is an American tragedy. Happy loser.

Odds: 50-1

“Patsy Clone”

Carrie Underwood

There’s something scary about this homegrown, goody-goody. She’s so sweet, she makes Paula Abdul look cruel. She’s no Kelly Clarkson, so somebody shoulda told her not – dear God! -to attempt Janis. Bad. Very bad. Might be a winner, too.

Odds:3-1

“The Rocky-er”

Bo Bice

It was at his mother’s urging that Bo took time out from channeling Lynyrd Skynyrd long enough to win a spot on “AI.” The result? It’s just plain wrong for garage-band Bo to air-guitar while fronting for the studio bland. Still, might be a winner.

Odds:2-1