It’s been 20 years since “Pretty Woman” hit the screens and the American psyche like an incurable STD.

The message of that movie? Hey kids! You, too, can be a hooker in the big city and end up with a really rich, hunky and brilliant entrepreneur who will buy you great clothes and put you up in a luxury hotel!

And not to worry about AIDS, pimps, pushers or Johns who can possibly kill you. Why? Because it’s all good!

Now, here we are in 2010, and not only do young girls commonly dress like hookers, but no one seems to worry about stupid things like birth control and condoms, which can not just stop the spread of STDs, but prevent pregnancies in girls too young to care for babies in the real world.

But really, if proudly parading your unwed motherhood status is good enough for Bristol Palin, it’s good enough for your kid, too — no? Yes!

Tonight at 8, ABC Family’s former quality show, “The Secret Life of the American Teenager,” stoops to the gutter in a blatant disregard for the children who watch the show by introducing Bristol, the world’s most famous unwed teen mother, to Amy (Shailene Woodley), the show’s famously unwed teen mother. (Don’t despair! More unweds are on the way!)

So how does Amy meet Bristol? Why, in a great apartment building in New York City where they both have free apartments given to them as summer music camp scholarship winners. And guess what? The music camp is only for unwed teen mothers! Luckily, every kid there has someone to take care of those pesky, crying babies they left at home!

Yes, I swear.

Bristol, who should definitely keep her day job (if she has one), does an excruciatingly bad version of herself as a girl whose extraordinary musical abilities have also brought her to the Baked Apple for unwed summer music camp.

What? Is anyone — from the upper echelons of politics to the lower pits of Hollywood — at all concerned about the message they’re sending by making teen pregnancy and motherhood seem easier than a math final? Correct answer: No. They’ve all taken a self-serving stance to a situation that has life-long consequences in the real world.

OK, so then what have we learned in 20 years, boys and girls? Oh, I know! Nothing!

It’s still OK to have unprotected sex, because if you do, you, too, can end up with great clothes, a great apartment, and more cute guys than even a hooker could find.

It’s all good.