“Cy says you’re too nice,” I told Rose, whose courtesy toward her fellow players is so admirable. “He says you need a streak of arrogance to play this game.”

“I’m not totally altruistic,” Rose said. “I enjoy winning, and I find that it’s easier to win against players who like me. And to act contentious at the table would ruin my concentration. To play well, you must put your emotions aside.”

In today’s deal, South ran a stop sign and bid 3NT over North’s three diamonds.

“Some bidding,” East sneered.

South won the first club with dummy’s queen and led a diamond. Both defenders played low. (If West took his king, he had no winning return.) West won the next diamond and shifted to the nine of spades.

East ducked, and South won and led the nine of hearts: three, 10(!), seven. South then forced out the ace of diamonds and ended with 10 tricks. (West could have beaten 3NT by putting up his jack on the first heart, but after the first two tricks, South could always succeed with double-dummy play.)

“What a farce,” East growled. “The man makes a horrible bid and gets away with it.”

“Grab your ace of diamonds to return a club,” West pointed out, “and he goes down.”

East’s comments were more than unkind; they were defeatist. They made him look silly, poisoned the atmosphere at the table, and spurred North-South to play with all the more determination. Rose has the right idea: It’s in your own interest to treat your opponents with respect and cordiality.