BAD candy, pricey floral arrangements and sappy greeting cards where words are spelled with number/letter combination such as 4U are fantastic – if you’re Ziggy. The thing is, you’re not, and this isn’t Hallmarkville. It’s New York City and that kind of shmaltz simply doesn’t fly here.

In this town, where three weeks constitutes a long-term relationship and three drinks is a sufficient waiting period between a breakup and a new romance, Valentine’s Day requires a bit of imagination.

Be ours and we’ll show you where to find risqué dinners, unusual chocolates, anti-Valentine’s Day soirées and other semi-heartwarming activities that will allow you to respect yourself in the morning. With Valentine’s Day being on a Saturday, those up for something different have a full recovery day to deal with welts and chafing before going back to work on Monday. Why not take some chances this year?

MORE ANTI-VALENTINE’S DAY:

A LETTER FROM ANDREA PEYSER TO HUBBY DEAREST: What’s Love Got to Do With it

SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THESE: What Have You Done For Me Choco-lately?

DISH MAGIC MOMENT: Alternative V-Day Dining

NO LOVE LOST: Don’t Get Angry, Get Drunk

HIT SINGLES: Singles’ Playlist