NICK LACHEY

“What’s Left of Me”

(two stars)

Jive WHEN you listen to songs on “What’s Left of Me” as stand-alone singles, they come off as insipid mush. But as a concept album by a hopelessly-inlove man who just wants his Jessica Simpson back, this is a masterwork of groveling.

You already know the sound from the stringorchestrated ballads of Lachey’s 98 Degrees days.

It’s a style that fits his tenor and that his fans consider romantic. Mix in lyrics that say he isn’t yet over America’s favorite dumb blonde, and suddenly the heartstrings are getting yanked like the puppeteer is having a seizure.

In the title track, Nick reveals she’s still under his skin. Then he croons “I Can’t Hate You Anymore.” And in “On Your Own” he lets her know he’ll be there if she ever needs him.

This love, however, stinks.

The most real song on the album is “I Do It for You” where he flashes angry with “I want you to burn, I want you to steal, I want you to bleed, to see how it feels.” He caps the lovesick album with “Resolution,” insisting he’s “letting go” – though there’s little evidence of that on the 11 previous tracks.

Jessica, take Nick back before he records again.

Download: “I Do It for You,” Nick’s a macho man.