‘QUEEN of Hearts,” themusical about Prin-cess Di at the HaroldClurman throughApril 11, is too tacky andtalentless in itself to meritmuch notice.

But it does raise some incidental issues. For one thing, it deals a severe blow to the sanctimonious cult of Di. Not because it doesn’t try to paint a picture of the princess as saint and martyr. Rather, by the very ineptitude of its attempt, it ends up giving us Di as insufferable phony.

The musical, with book and direction by Stephen Stahl and music and lyrics by Claudia Perry, is a string of insipid songs interrupted by passages of unintentionally funny dialogue.

Paula Leggett Chase is a tall blonde, and she does imitate Di’s awkward stoop, but she looks more like Tina Brown than Di, and her voice is strained and dry.

We first see Di up in heaven worrying about young Prince William (Christian Stuck).”He’ll be all right,” she’s assured by a heavenly courtier.

Back on Earth – the show is a long flashback cleverly bookended by scenes in heaven – she cradles a crippled kid as the chorus tells her of Parliament’s disapproval.

In a further flashback, her stepmother Raine (Sharon Alexander) kicks a stricken Di out of her ancestral castle.

Then in London, schoolteacher Di settles a religious quarrel between two tykes with a song queasily reminiscent of “Whistle a Happy Tune.”

After Di as Governess Anna comes Di as Eliza Doolittle, worrying about what to wear to the ball at Buckingham Palace.

Stuffy Charles (James A. Walsh, who actually manages to show a bit of dignity), sings about how “I’m not looking for love” but merely “a virginal Protestant aristocrat.”

Camilla (Annie Edgerton), fuming and snorting like Cruella deVille, vows to “break this fairy tale in two.”

Soon, Di worship seizes Britain – “She speaks for the common man,” cries the chorus, absurdly.

She becomes an AIDS angel, cradling a dying friend to the horror of the palace. Princess Grace comes down from heaven to assure her she’s doing a good job, but the queen is an “old witch” and Charles is “cold and uncaring.”

Di explains the wickedness of land mines to young William, who begs her, in a more than usually revolting song, to “teach me how to love.”

She finds true love in the arms of a high-minded Dodi (Tom Schmid), who explains, a bit illogically, that “people think I’m a playboy but I can’t imagine life without you.”

Though in itself negligible, “Queen of Hearts” is ominous and disgusting in putting living (however privileged) people on stage for its sentimental purposes.

Can “Monica: The Musical” be far behind?

The recent satirical revue, “Jackie,” was quite different; it had wit and bite and pep. The “Queen of Hearts” program lists the performers’ phone numbers. Camilla has a 800 number. I think 911 would have served for everyone.