It’s back-to-school season for the TV networks looking to lure viewers to their shiny new fall shows.
They’re flooding their Web sites and airtime with those attractive trailers — previews ranging from 30-second teases to six-minute sneak peeks.
We rated the programming promos not for the quality of the shows, but for how much they actually make you want to watch the shows they’re promoting.
Coming this fall . . .
“Revenge” (ABC): Poison, illicit videos, red markers, tattoos! Right off, you know exactly where your sympathies lie, but you don’t know exactly why yet. And that is key to piquing interest. Grade: A-
“Playboy Club” (NBC): From first ice cube clink to closing fluffy bunny tail, a perfect setup for the dapper ’60s mood — not to mention dark shenanigans — at one of Hef’s famed Bunny hutches. Grade: A
“Grimm” (NBC): Heart-pounding runs through dark forests, creepy special effects and reminders that fairy tales aren’t as sweet as you remembered them to be, this trailer is a terrific roller coaster ride. Grade: A+
“Prime Suspect” (NBC) : Ignoring the fact that lead character Jane (Maria Bello) tells the cabbie to drop her off at “Prince and Houston,” it’s a by-the-book trailer for yet another series about a hard-edged female detective who will do anything to solve a case. Grade: C+
“Charlie’s Angels” (ABC): Only a 30-second clip, but it plays like “Gossip Girl” with guns. The combo of flashy explosions, gorgeous scenery and minimal exposition makes you want to see it — at least once. Grade: B+
“Unforgettable” (CBS): Shows off the twist on this cop show — a detective (Poppy Montgomery) who literally remembers everything, helpful at crime scenes. But the rest — sexy, sensitive woman with a complicated past — makes you feel like you’ve seen this show 100 times before. Grade: B
“Terra Nova” (Fox): Why make us slog through two whole minutes of a “loving family, second chance at life” theme to get to the good stuff? Next time, more dinos up front, please. Grade: B
“Suburgatory” (ABC): Nails the fish-out-of-water-meets-“Twilight Zone” idea with a smart mix of teen-dramedy narration and snarky episode clips. Grade: A
“Once Upon A Time” (ABC): Without giving away the why of it all, does a good job of setting up how the present day and fairy-tale worlds overlap. Grade: B+
“New Girl” (Fox): No matter how much you initially dislike the hipster-quirky Jess (Zooey De schanel), by the end of this tease, you wind up lik ing her — and the guys she’s rooming with. Grade: A-
“Pan Am” (ABC): Ultra-glam and retro, this trailer sparkles so hard you can practically see the twinkle in the show’s eye. Fortunately, the Epcot Center-ride cheesiness is balanced with hints of spy intrigue and Women’s Lib. Grade: A
“A Gifted Man” (CBS): Lengthy (five minutes!) trailer tries too hard. A convoluted mess that cycles between being a feel-good medical series, a quirky relationship show and a possible ghost mystery. Grade: C-
“Ringer” (CW): Too-long trailer spells out practically every twist you can expect this season, thanks to a relentless onslaught of onscreen postulations about possible character motivations and actions. Grade: D
“Person of Interest” (CBS): In between action sequences, flashy graphics and terse dialogue, you’ve got so much unprocessed conspiracy info that you can’t figure out who the good guy is. Grade: B+
