THERE are several ways to get rid of a guy, without having to run for Senate.In fact, women have been using all sorts of means to avoid men ever since Adam – and even before. Of course, these days it’s easier to swat suitors away, thanks to technological advances like cell phones, e-mail and heat-seeking missiles.

And with Caller ID, women no longer have to worry about answering calls they don’t want from men – or Bergdorf’s collections department.

There are, however, women who willingly give guys phone numbers – just not theirs.

I’d love to say that no woman has purposely given me a phony phone number, but they have, two, maybe three – dozen times.

The most recent occurrence was last week. I kind of had a gut feeling this woman was lying about everything, including her name, because she said it was “Sheeba Berkowitz” – though her purse had the initials, “cK.”

Anyway, I dialed the digits she gave me, and instead of getting Sheeba, I reached a Chinese restaurant. Honestly, I was very disappointed – mostly with the General Tso’s Chicken.

This other woman once changed the last digit of her phone number from a “6” to an “8,” so I wouldn’t be able to reach her, but because of her poor penmanship, I accidentally dialed the right number.

She eventually went out with me, but wouldn’t accidentally sleep with me. And when I broached the subject, she accidentally kicked me in the groin three times.

On those rare occasions when a persistent paramour somehow gets a woman on the phone, my female friends say they usually tell those guys that they’re very busy, and will call them back – but never do.

When I phoned my pal Patty to confirm if women actually do this, she said, “Michael, I’m too busy to talk, but I’ll call you back.” That was three months ago.

It’s worse when women are confronted face-to-face with guys they don’t want to date. During these personal encounters at parties or bars, women often have to concoct stories to stave men off.

My friend Tina tends to tell guys she has a “medical problem.”

She recalled, “I told this one guy that I had herpes, and he said, ‘Really? Me too!’ Then I explained I was just kidding.” Oops.

Another guy-repellent that’s almost sure to work is to say that you’re currently seeing someone else.

Not long ago, in an effort to scare off a guy named Scott, Laura lied that not only did she have a boyfriend, but also that “he can get very violent.”

Well, sure enough, Scott ran into Laura on the street with another man, and before she could say anything, Scott fumed, “So Laura says you’re violent – I’ll show you violent.” He then punched the guy’s lights out, only to find out a minute later that it was Laura’s brother.

My friend Nicole has also tried to ditch dudes by claiming she’s got a boyfriend. She said: “Once I even told a guy who kept coming on to me that I was a lesbian – but after that he was twice as interested.”

Unfortunately, because a few men simply can’t take a hint, some women have to physically avoid their annoying admirers.

One woman who knows this all too well is Nancy, a 26-year-old nurse who lives a couple of doors down from a guy who has his own interpretation of “Love Thy Neighbor.”

One night, he just showed up and rang her doorbell. After looking through the peephole, Nancy pretended to not be home by staying completely silent. And it worked – until her phone rang and startled her so much that she dropped the glass of water she was drinking and exclaimed, “Oh, s – – – !”

She wasn’t sure whether or not the guy heard her but, a few minutes later, an old woman who lived four flights below her came up to her apartment and said, “Watch your language!”

And then there’s Jessica, a 32-year-old social worker, who literally got sick because of a guy in her neighborhood named Aaron.

Since Aaron – who she couldn’t shake after one date – lived above the Rite Aid where she had a prescription, she never went to pick up her antibiotics.

Eventually, Jessica did see Aaron again – when he visited her in the hospital.

Though women try to avoid us, there’s no way we can avoid the truth. Women don’t like us – they like shoes.