Hung jury: Go away!

If you need proof that the “failing upward” theory does, indeed, apply in this country – or that it takes only Internet notoriety to achieve fleeting fame when you’ve accomplished absolutely nothing in life – look no further than William Hung.

He’s the Chinese Berkeley student whose dreadful rendition of “She Bangs,” during an “American Idol” audition, has transformed him into this week’s media darling (thanks in no small part to streaming Internet video). So what’s a no-talent wannabe to do? Why, become the latest 15-minute celebrity-in-a-can, of course. Hung appears on tonight’s “ET” to work with renowned singing coach Eric Vetra – who’s currently coaching Billy Crystal for the Oscarcast. Hung, according to “ET,” has “big plans to become a recording star.” I’m sure that will be terrific news to those struggling singers out there with talent.

If that’s not bad enough, Hung is further enabled on today’s “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (10 a.m./Ch. 4) when he’s allowed to perpetrate three songs on the viewing public.

This from a guy who, only a week ago, was complaining about the unwanted attention. There’s always a way to avoid that unwanted attention, William Hung: Just say no.

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“Access Hollywood’s” Billy Bush, cousin of President Bush, interviewed Ben Affleck at the Daytona 500 last weekend (Cousin Dubya opened the festivities).

It was Affleck’s first chat since the breakup with you- know-who, and Bush asked Affleck if the media contributed to the split. “The answer is no, but you know . . . the media has kind of evolved,” said Affleck.

“It’s changed a lot to where it has become so much more competitive. There are so many shows . . . trying to cover the same real estate in terms of . . . there are so many stories, so naturally stuff becomes blown out of proportion or exaggerated.”

Affleck’s comments air tonight (7:30/Ch. 4).

Last, but not least:

* Tonight, tomorrow on Ch. 11 (10 p.m.): Cathy Hobbs reports on self-defense – by interviewing a convict on parole for armed robbery. He offers tips for defending yourself.