SLEEPING DOGS LIE

(two and a half stars)

Woman’s best friend.

Running time: 89 minutes. Rated R (bestiality, drugs, profanity). At the Sunshine, Houston Street and Second Avenue.

‘SLEEPING Dogs Lie,” comedian Bobcat Goldthwait’s attention-grabbing filmmaking debut, is almost certainly the funniest movie ever made about a woman who, uh, performs oral sex on a canine.

That drunken college escapade is mercifully not shown.

But it still haunts Amy (the very good Melinda Page Hamilton), who five years later still feels uncomfortable around her fiancé’s pet and wonders if she should tell John (Bryce Johnson) about her earlier indiscretion.

The past hovers in the background as Amy takes the underachieving John (who delivers an alternative newspaper) to spend a weekend with her family, including an overbearing dad (Geoff Pierson) right out of “Meet the Parents.”

Ditsy mom (Bonita Friedericy) counsels honesty for Amy, little suspecting the poop she’s contemplating on dropping – even as Mom unburdens herself to Amy about hitherto unsuspected liaisons with Elvis and Roy Orbison.

Of course, it’s way too much information for poor John – and catastrophes are unleashed when Amy’s insanely jealous, methadone-addled brother (Jack Plotnick) eavesdrops on her big confession.

For all the envelope pushing, this is a surprisingly warm romantic comedy, particularly after Amy moves on to a relationship with a fellow teacher (Colby French) who doesn’t own a dog.

As a director, Goldthwait doesn’t have much of a visual sense beyond including endless shots of aroused dogs – and a gross-out scene where Amy fantasizes the fiancé she’s making out with is actually a you-know-what.

But “Sleeping Dogs Lie” does collar big laughs for anyone who isn’t skeeved out by the whole idea – or the tacky, French-style accordion music on the soundtrack. It’s not exactly going to be on PETA’s 10-best list.