WITH yesterday’s release of “The Fog,” an update of John Carpenter’s 1980 film, and disturbing news that director Michael Bay plans to tackle 1986’s “The Hitcher,” it’s official – we just don’t need any more horror-movie remakes.

We’ve analyzed the data and come up with some pretty irrefutable evidence that, in 99 percent of cases, to redo a vintage scary movie is merely to screw it up and dumb it down.

So to any directors mulling over a new version of “Rosemary’s Baby,” please heed the warning we all scream at the ditzy blonde wandering around the abandoned shack in the woods: Get out while you still can!

* “Psycho” (1960, 1998)

Original concept: Mild-mannered, quirky motel owner turns out to be cross-dressing shower murderer.

The remake: Shot-for-shot remake with Vince Vaughn in Anthony Perkins’ role.

Scare factor: Vaughn’s attempts at being creepy just make us laugh.

* “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (1974, 2003)

Original concept: Road-tripping teenagers fall prey to a group of savage cannibals with power tools.

The remake: Leatherface’s face now actually made out of human flesh.

Scare factor: Ditches innovation and psychological suspense of original, replaces with mindless gore.

* “Dawn of the Dead” (1978, 2004)

Original concept: Four survivors of a zombie outbreak hole up in a suburban mall.

The remake: New zombies run really fast, as opposed to traditional walk-of-the-dead stumble.

Scare factor: Bigger and better special effects, weaker social satire.

* “House of Wax” (1953, 2005)

Original concept: Crazy wax-museum owner likes to use real humans for his statues.

The remake: Paris Hilton impaled by something other than a Greek shipping heir.

Scare factor: A scantily clad hotel heiress is no match for Vincent Price in 3-D.

* “The Amityville Horror” (1979, 2005)

Original concept: Young marrieds unwisely move into a house where a murder was committed.

The remake: Way, way more violence.

Scare factor: Old one’s campy-scary; new one’s just plain sadistic.

* “The Shining” (1980, 1997, 2005)

Original concept: Writer signs his family up for a winter of house-sitting in a haunted mountain resort.

The remakes: First, a TV miniseries designed to be closer to what author Stephen King intended (read: less artsy than Kubrick); then, the recently circulated online trailer for “Shining,” in which Jack Nicholson suddenly stars in a romantic comedy.

Scare factor: The TV show didn’t set a single heart aflutter, but, boy, that new trailer sure is a riot.