“Somebody call Stephen King, we’ve got Christine on the show,” jokes Xzibit on tonight’s episode of MTV’s “Pimp My Ride,” where they will revamp a beat-up 1950’s Chevy Bel-Air.

Xzibit – aka the Pimp Master of Ceremonies – has transformed junkyard jalopies (like a 1969 Baha Bug held together by chewing gum) into super hot rods, with everything from shoe racks, refrigerators, karaoke machines, massage chairs, chandeliers, bubble machines and rhinestone-studded gear shifters added.

Still, the hoarse-voiced, explicit-lyric-laced rapper never slams on his brakes.

After touring with Eminem, Cypress Hill and 50 Cent in Europe last year on Eminem’s “Anger Management” tour, he released his fifth album, “Weapons of Mass Destruction,” in December 2004.

And last week, he finished a month-long tour as part of the Hip Hop SupaStar search, a talent contest where the winner gets his or her song produced as a ring tone.

He’s also about to exhibit some newfound thespian talents in “State of the Union,” the sequel to “xXx,” alongside Ice Cube, Willem Dafoe and Morgan Freeman. The film opens April 29.

Q:What is something that you haven’t done that you would like to do to pimp out a car?

A:Make it float. Make an amphibious car.

Q:Who comes up with the crazy, cool ideas of putting shoe racks and bubble machines in cars?

A:The guys in the garage [West Coast Custom] do the science behind the car. There’s a lot of math and engineering and design to make it work. They know their limitations and push the envelope.

Q:What car are you driving these days?

A:I have the new Bentley Continental GT and the Hummer 2. The Bentley is grey with baseball glove interior. The Hummer is black.

Q:Did you pimp them out?

A:The Bentley is already pimped, man.

Q:What’s the coolest car in the world?

A:The Bugatti EB 110 GT. It’s my dream car. It’s coming out soon. It’s a European car. And it’s a designer that actually went under even though it was the most engineered car ever designed. But [President] Thomas Bscher is bringing it back out. It’s a super car.

Q:What makes it super?

A: It’s fantastic. It looks like the future of cars. The design is sleek, it’s a super sportscar. It’s like something you see in movies, I’m all about that.

Q:What’s your favorite car movie?

A:I mean, I’m more of a car TV show fanatic. The TV shows are more interesting, like “Dukes of Hazzard,” “Knight Rider,” “Automan,” “Starsky and Hutch.” The TV shows have cars that were way better. The A-Team van. I wanted that van.

Q:How many cars do you own?

A:Just two. You can only drive one at a time.

Q:Did you have a jalopy as your first car?

A:You better believe it. My first car I bought for $400 and it was a Subaru and it was shaped like a door wedge and it was confiscated by the police.

Q:Where did you get it?

A:I’m not going to go there … it wasn’t a car dealership. I got it from the homeboy’s shopping network. Then the last [crappy] car I actually had was a black- and-purple GEO tracker. Mine had purple racer stripes. It was real cheesy.

Q:Where’s the coolest place you’ve ever driven?

A:The Autobahn in Germany. I can’t brag though, because it was a tour bus. I was on tour and we were on the Autobahn and the driver let me drive to 180 miles. It was going fast. There’s no speed limit. You have guys on motorcycles flying by you.

Q:What’s your favorite PlayStation 2 video game?

A:The San Andreas “Grand Theft Auto.”

Q:What are you obsessed with right now?

A:My iPod. I got the U2 iPod.

Q:What was the last thing you downloaded on your iTunes?

A:I don’t download. That’s sacrilegious for me. You can’t download. I carry a laptop with me so if I hear something I like, I support the artist. I’m old fashioned. I like the CD.

Q:Tell me about “State of the Union?” How did you get involved?

A:It’s a huge blockbuster franchise. The first one was huge. It’s complementary to the first one. When they gave me the call to come in, it was a great offer. I don’t do movies and I was nervous walking on the set with Ice Cube and Samuel Jackson, but it was a learning experience, and it was exciting at the same time.

Q: Well, I remember you in “The Wash” …

A:Right. The key word is franchise.

Q: I liked you in that movie …

A:I did, too, man. It was good. But in this one, I have a [bigger] role.

Q:Tell me about your character, Zeke …

A:I am the go-to guy. I am the man with all the connections, all the weapons, all the transforms. I’m a hustler of sorts. I play Ice Cube’s weapon specialists when it’s time for him to do his mission.

Q: What was it like working with Ice Cube?

A:It was great. I grew up listening to him. Being able to work with him in a whole different genre is crazy.

Q:Was it cool working on the set?

A:It was great – all kinds of trucks blowing up, doors flying and tanks getting cut up, running and jumping.

Q:Did you have to do any crazy stunts?

A:Yes and no. The real extreme dangerous stuff I wasn’t allowed to do but I tried to do as much as I possibly could.

Q:Have you seen the movie?

A:No, no one will let me see it. But I’ll see it on the 25th.

Q:Who braids your hair?

A:I have a hairstylist named Diamond, and she travels with me all around and braids my hair. I sit in the chair and she takes it down and braids it back up.

Q:How do you balance the acting, music and your own MTV show?

A:I have a very good support team and system behind me, and I have people who really understand the vision I have for stepping into the future. It takes a lot of time and patience and energy but it’s worth it for me. Whatever you see progress, where I come from, is a beautiful thing.

Q:Are you single? What do you look for in a woman?

A:No, I’m not dating now. Brains matter first. We have to be able to have a real conversation, or else it’s not going to be able to go anywhere. And then she’s gotta be bangin’!