THE recent incident in the skies over China reminded me of the many relationships I’ve had – which have also crashed and burned.

And like the situation with China, in relationships I, too, have had to carefully word my apologies.

As a matter of fact, last year I wrote my then-girlfriend Susan a mea culpa that read: “I would like to express my sincere regrets for having a midair collision – naked with your best friend.”

I’m sorry, but I happen to be a big apologist.

On a daily basis, I apologize for a variety of things, including breathing and “Ishtar.”

There are plenty of others like me who are sorry for things that aren’t even our fault. And though the circumstances may be well beyond our control, we still say, “I’m sorry it rained on your day off” or “Sorry I broke that chair – over your head.”

Of course, there are those who never ever apologize.

And if it’s true that “love is never having to say you’re sorry,” then my ex-girlfriend Carol must have really, really loved me.

She never once said she was sorry, not even for the time when I was away on business and she secretly sold my apartment – which happens to be a rental.

I miss her.

Anyway, there are also people who just apologize in order to preempt an argument. Actually, when I’m in bed with women, I tend to apologize in advance – mostly for my shortcomings.

Another sorry sort are those like my buddy Oliver who always apologizes – but never for what he’s done.

Just last week, after Oliver’s girlfriend began bawling, having spotted him making out with another woman right outside Central Park, Oliver said, “I am so sorry – sorry I took Fifth Avenue.”

Katie, a 37-year-old lawyer, is also like that. When she fired her assistant, she said, “I’m really sorry. Sorry I’m out of cash – can you lend me $50 for a manicure?”

At least Katie and Oliver know that after you’ve wronged another, you need to apologize.

The reason it’s crucial that you say “I’m sorry” is because, until you’ve uttered those two little words, you won’t be forgiven – and free again to once more screw that person over.

Additionally, it’s important how you express your regret. To me, it isn’t a real apology unless it’s offered with a great deal of remorse – and cash.

There are people, however, who feel it’s fine to send flowers, but I don’t think a potful of petunias can ever adequately say, “I’m sorry for accidentally setting your house on fire – again.”

Also, when you do apologize, don’t try to excuse your behavior or lay blame on others – even though it’s always their fault.

Furthermore, you need to be truly contrite – or at least pretend you are. And you need to explain to the person who’s been hurt precisely why you are sorry – besides being caught.

For example, the day after my friend Anna had an argument with her boyfriend, she told him, “I’m apologizing for our fight last night. I’m sorry I called you a ‘jerk.’ You are not a jerk – you’re a jackass.”

It’s also essential when apologizing that you assure the offended individual that you’ll never again whatever it was that upset them.

When Tommy told his girlfriend he wouldn’t come home drunk anymore on Friday nights, he meant it. And he kept to his word – the following Friday he didn’t come home drunk. In fact, he didn’t come home at all – having passed out in the bar.

And when Don promised his wife he wouldn’t flirt anymore with the women in his office, he stuck to it – and began hitting on the women in her office.

Sure, I kid around a lot, but of all the things I’ve done wrong – and this column is way too short to list a fraction of my infractions – I guess I’m most apologetic about an incident that took place last week at my parents’ house.

While I was in their garage early one morning, I mistakenly put my father’s car in reverse and completely smashed through the living room, all the way back into their bedroom.

If you’re reading this, mom and dad, I am so sorry – sorry I woke you up.