NINETEEN-year-old Brett Banfe will forever be known as Silent Guy.
The Haddonfield, N.J., native made a vow just over six months ago to not talk for a year. He relies on the two-way pager – an turquoise Talkabout t900 from Motorola – to do his talking for him, adding hand gestures and head nods and shakes with slight murmurings for yes and no.
Under his self-imposed rules, he’s not even allowed to talk to himself. No wonder Motorola gave Banfe some Talkabouts – its slogan is “Talk W/O Talking.”
A friendly sort, Banfe wears silver earrings, sports short blond hair, has a pierced tongue (a silver barbell), and a wide smile. He teaches break dancing to kids, gives swing dancing lessons at his college (William Patterson University), likes the Philadelphia Eagles, immerses himself in movies and, for night life, heads out to Philly dance clubs. In many ways, he’s a typical college freshman, he just doesn’t speak.
Banfe got the idea for being silent from his Kung Fu Sifu (his Kung Fu instructor), who observed that Banfe didn’t listen very well. What better way to learn to listen than to not speak?
“I thought about how incredible it would be to be 20 years old and look back on my last year and go I DID THAT, like how awesome a feeling that would be! I thought about how it would be such a wonderful lesson in interaction,” Banfe wrote on the computer next to mine at The Post.
After reading about Silent Guy, I thought about being Silent Surfer gURL for just a single day this week. I have enough gadgets to communicate – a cell phone with e-mail, a wireless PDA, and, just for the occasion, I borrowed a Motorola Talkabout, which Silent Guy taught me to use.
But I thought about going on a date, an interview, or just ordering coffee, and quickly gave up the idea.
Plus I don’t like to only communicate through e-mails, which can absorb unintended emotions and often wreak havoc on relationships. E-mail can also quickly change a relationship, adding a false sense of intimacy. I guess I’m just an old fashioned Surfer gURL at heart.
I thought about the reverse as well, giving up the gadgets and being Talking Girl (all talk, no action!) for a week, giving up e-mail. But that too, would require a ton of preparation. Imagine not using the Web for a week! I can’t bear it when it’s down for an hour.
So I admire what Silent Guy is doing. What a great way to gain a new perspective on life.
Banfe hoped to rasie money for Head Start. But Web site Dare for Dollars – which offered him $20 a day to keep quiet – folded and settled for only $1,000.
Instead, he’s now trying to raise awareness for an “Hour of Silence” in schools on May 16.
While being silent seems second nature to Banfe now, the first week was tough. In fact, moments after he finished his last words at a press conference, an 11-year-old asked him a question. Banfe panicked.
“I was like oh my God, I can’t answer that, I totally did not expect it, I never knew how I would do it, I never took a practice day, I just committed myself to it and figured out the rest later,” he typed. “Now it’s not tough.”
Still he has his moments. At the gas station he uses his hands to order gas in $10 increments. “One time I picked up the phone, and then I was like HA HA I can’t talk, you idiot,” he says.
He gets a little frustrated, when it comes to being funny or angry, which are difficult to express on the Talkabout. In his dreams, he still speaks, but it’s upsetting because he thinks he’s broken his vow.
At college, he e-mails his professors. In class, a classmate will speak for him. “I only do that if I say something interesting and deep, so it’s really like prophetic. The kid next to me is like ‘attention attention, BRETT has something to say hear ye hear ye,'” Banfe types.
Silent Guy has lots to say. You just have to listen.
Send Surfer gURL e-mail atmhuhn@nypost.com.
